YOU NEVER THINK IT WILL HAPPEN TO YOU

It`s weird. Less than two days ago I was happier. It didn`t pass my mind some terrorists were preparing to kill innocent humans. Why would it? One doesn`t even want to believe that would happen. But it did. I went to bed, clueless. I didn`t have internet and went to bed eleven o clock. I`ll forever remember Friday 13th November. I had my test of term, went home, relaxed, had my class, relaxed some more, watched TV, took care of my sick brother before I went to bed. Other people were doing the same usual too. Some went to have dinner outside, while others went to enjoy a match or a concert. They had no idea it`d turn out to become a carnage. A bloody carnage. It`s weird how nights change and what you never imagined, happens. What`s even more weird is on Friday I shared some amazing pictures from Disney World in Paris. Isn`t that a little insane to think about? The same Paris which were filled with blood, tears and screaming only 2 hours later. I`m sure even Mickey Mouse paused and started praying for Paris. 532490-7-1447580214349

I`ve read all kind of articles and posts about this. Islam, religion, Islam. It`s driving me a little crazy, to be honest. Most people think of Islam whenever they hear there have been terror attacks in a country. Why? Even in a group chat I`m a part of on Twitter, that was the case. I understand the reactions. Of course we want explanations, we`re going to seek for them. We want to understand even if we can`t, but being scared, frightened and accusing someone isn`t the answer. Since I haven`t read many posts on what actually happened, I`d like to share something a victim wrote on their Facebook.

You never think it will happen to you. It was just a friday night at a rock show. the atmosphere was so happy and everyone was dancing and smiling. and then when the men came through the front entrance and began the shooting, we naiively believed it was all part of the show. It wasn’t just a terrorist attack, it was a massacre. Dozens of people were shot right infront of me. Pools of blood filled the floor. Cries of grown men who held their girlfriends dead bodies pierced the small music venue. Futures demolished, families heartbroken. in an instant. Shocked and alone, I pretended to be dead for over an hour, lying among people who could see their loved ones motionless.. Holding my breath, trying to not move, not cry – not giving those men the fear they longed to see. I was incredibly lucky to survive. But so many didn’t. The people who had been there for the exact same reasons as I – to have a fun friday night were innocent. This world is cruel. And acts like this are suppose to highlight the depravity of humans and the images of those men circuling us like vultures will haunt me for the rest of my life. The way they meticoulsy aimed at shot people around the standing area i was in the centre of without any consideration for human life. It didn’t feel real. i expected any moment for someone to say it was just a nightmare. But being a survivor of this horror lets me able to shed light on the heroes. To the man who reassured me and put his life on line to try and cover my brain whilst i whimpered, to the couple whose last words of love kept me believing the good in the world, to the police who succeded in rescuing hundreds of people, to the complete strangers who picked me up from the road and consoled me during the 45 minutes I truly believed the boy i loved was dead, to the injured man who i had mistaken for him and then on my recognition that he was not Amaury, held me and told me everything was going to be fine despite being all alone and scared himself, to the woman who opened her doors to the survivors, to the friend who offered me shelter and went out to buy new clothes so i wouldnt have to wear this blood stained top, to all of you who have sent caring messages of support – you make me believe this world has the potential to be better. to never let this happen again. but most of this is to the 80 people who were murdered inside that venue, who weren’t as lucky, who didnt get to wake up today and to all the pain that their friends and families are going through. I am so sorry. There’s nothing that will fix the pain. I feel priviledged to be there for their last breaths. And truly beliving that I would join them, I promise that their last thoughts were not on the animals who caused all this. It was thinking of the people they loved. As i lay down in the blood of strangers and waiting for my bullet to end my mere 22 years, I envisioned every face that I have ever loved and whispered I love you. over and over again. reflecting on the highlights of my life. Wishing that those i love knew just how much, wishing that they knew that no matter what happened to me, to keep belieivng in the good in people. to not let those men win. Last night, the lives of many were forever changed and it is up to us to be better people. to live lives that the innocent victims of this tragedy dreamt about but sadly will now never be able to fulfil. RIP angels. You will never be forgotten.” ~Isobel Bowdery.

I know saying it doesn`t matter who did it, sounds harsh. But would the reactions be the same if there were 7 white people? I don`t think so. Imagine standing next to one of those who died due to those attacks. Would you stand there, arguing with someone on Islam, or help that person? I feel like that`s what most of us are doing. Islam, extreme Islam, has once again showed up in a lot of debates. And that makes me happy, to be honest. The terror attacks might be about that, but that`s not what happened. Most people`s reaction is “Oh, I`m sure it was done by Muslims.” Really? That frustrates me so much. Why are we automatically linked to such events? Instead of being so stuck up with whom did it or not, we should focus on the tragedy.

12250026_10153340000740369_379152817089611946_nWe should focus on the 23 years old American girl that died. Her boyfriend misses her. That`s what we should be talking about. We should talk about the guy who worked in the bar for a long now, and now won`t be working there because some people didn`t find his life worth it. We should mention the kids who went to bed without their parents. The wives and husbands who went to bed, lonely that night. The parents who cried for their kids that night. Who are talking about those? Not many. Even if those are really tragic and devastating stories that make hope fall from my eyes, they need to be spoken about because they`re beautiful reminders of what ended so brutally. Of plans, dreams, wishes, hope that ended suddenly. I WANT to talk about those beautiful stories, because they were filled with something. Yet, what occur most of social platforms are the numbers and the facts. Not the stories, and that saddens me.

They`ll never see the same blue sky as me, they`ll never be able to join a family dinner, they`ll never be able to hug someone they loved. Imagine if one of them had never told the person they loved, about their feelings. Isn`t that depressing to think of? I`m not saying that`s the case, but it could`ve been. Life can be over anytime, so at least for NOW, stop firing each other with your opinions on Al-Qaida, ISIS and religion. I understand you have your opinions on this, but that`s not what we need the most. Fight terrorist with love, not fear. We can`t let them win.We need to support each other, we need to give a helping hand to each other! We need to stand together with liberty, freedom and love. I don`t think the mother who`s lost their kid is interested in hearing about 29 years old Omar who killed her son. At least not right now.

But it doesn`t matter, right? In some weeks time most of us will forget about it and keep living our lives, because that`s what we did after 9/11, after the Peshawar attacks and that`s what we did after the attack in Paris in January. We`ll keep hating, we`ll keep bullying, we`ll keep judging and turn our backs towards other people.

But I guess some love is better than none. 

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