Today I woke up. I went downstairs and was about to ask my mum why she didn`t wake me up a little earlier so I could revise a little for my history test, when she said told me “Your aunt`s sister-in-law is dead.” I stopped up for a second, noticed the so sudden tears in her eyes. I asked myself how come I hadn`t seen them before. I was confused. Who was dead? I asked my mum so I could recognize her. No, she wasn`t close to me. I didn`t even know her name. But I was shocked. Deeply shocked. I never thought anyone in my family would die again so soon, and it already happened. It already happened. Yesterday someone in my family got married, today someone died. That`s weird to think of.
I skipped breakfast and got ready for school. Thoughts, thoughts and more thoughts. It`s not the first time I realise life`s a gift which might be taken away from us too soon. I`ve learned so a million times, but it happens again and again. I realise it, do something about it for a while, forget it for a while before it hits me again. It`s like someone threw a stone at me this morning. Damn, she died. It could`ve been me. Doesn`t matter if she died due to a second heart attack. I`ve heard about people who`ve fell asleep and never woken up again. And that scares the hell out of me.
I`ll think about this forever. I could never wake up one day. I could be told one day I have cancer. And what then? Does extensions, make-up and lipstick matter then? I understand some people are interested in those things, but what happens when you die? Those things go to hell. They don`t matter. I at least won`t remember you for your face, I`ll remember you for what you gave me. I`ll remember you for your kindness, honesty, decenty. I want people to remember the person I was, not whether I woke up two hours before school started to put on my make-up. I want people to see me, not look at me.
We are so caught up with ourselves and our own lives. We`re too busy to fulfill everyone`s expectations that we forget to truly live ourselves. We`re too busy looking at our phones, instead of helping other people. We`re too busy checking Facebook every single minute, but forget to drop a hey to a girl who`s lonely. What if her only voice might be you? Damn, I`m so damn tired of people who`re so selfish, who`re so full of superficiality, who think driving a car is everything and who treat other people like a piece of paper. Those things don`t matter when you die, seriously. I`m so tired of people hating others who`re not like them, holding grudges, cheating, lying, faking. I`ve had enough of us wasting our time on things that don`t really matter in the long run. I`m so tired of bullying, of racism, of terrorism, of negativity, of pretenders, of people who are obsessed with your flaws and mistakes. When will we learn? I guess we never will. Kindness is taked for granted and one day we`ll die. We`ll burn and regret. It`ll be too late. What then? Will your make-up, extensions and eyeliner help you out? Your iPhone? Ipad? Mac? Your car? Your house? Your fake attitude? Your selfishness? What if you died today? Would you regret or be satisfied with the life you`ve lived? If not, what the hell are you waiting for?
I guess me writing this is pointless. My classmates will treat me unfairly tomorrow too, the 13-year-old boy will be bullied tomorrow too, and someone will get killed. Maybe it really is pointless.