I PUT MY HAND INTO A BEEHIVE

I feel so weird right now. Oh my God, where do I even begin? I feel odd, I don`t know how to explain it. It`s as if I`ve done something I shouldn`t have done but should have done at the same time. It`s as if the world surrounding me has changed. Now that sounds so dramatical,  but seriously. Do you know many people who`ve stood up for themselves and said straight out my family`s full of extremists?  I don`t know anyone, or wait. . now I do! I know myself. 😉 I`m so damn proud of myself and so happy on behalf of myself. All I can so to the haters is damn you. You never believed in me, told me I`m good for nothing and nobody would ever want me. Well, now I`ve got people who look up to me as I`ve become an inspiration. To be honest, I never thought this would happened. First, me being a finalist for a blogaward and now having a speech like this? I didn`t say this clearly, but that speech was a part of my fight song. It was taking the control back, it was my kind of revenge towards not only my family, but every single one who`ve been talking behind my back and not been able to say shit to me. This goes out to the bullies and the bunch of people that made fun of who I am. Today I put my hands into a beehive. I talked about something not many people talk about. I talked about myself in a such sensitive way that even I was inspired and touched. I started crying, so did my voice. Why? Being treated the way I`ve been the past year is not alright. It`s not alright at all.

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I know I`ll be hated by saying this, but several people in my family are extremists. I don`t think it`s a shame and if you really feel shameful for being an extremist, then don`t you think it`s about time you change yourself? Changing yourself for the better is never a bad thing. During a conversation with JK, an old teacher who needs to be mentioned, my mum said out of all things she could have said: “What Hitler did was right.” We were on about History and a trip to Poland, Czech Republic and Germany to learn more about what happened during the second world war and also be social, of course. She was trying to turn a trip which was meant to be something amazing, into a disaster. Which was disappointing for her daughter. I`ve been through a lot of other things as well. Imams saying I`m not allowed to talk with boys. People saying I`m not a good Muslim for raising my voice a little while talking to my parents. I`m not even a good person for supporting the Jews and Christians. Being told things like this was never good for me. It`s been a rough and harsh battle, I can assure you that, but I`ve always wanted to have the last words. To have the last say. I`m incredibly stubborn and so I never really give up before I`m satisifed. I kept fighting, even though a part of me thought it was useless. And here I am.

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Having the speech was a little piece of freedom. It was being able to enlighten people, to let them get to know me a little more and to put some things into perspective. I`d like to talk a little about that on here.

First of all, there`s a difference between extremism and violence extremism. My parents are extremists, while for example Al-Qaida and ISIS are violent extremists. I`d say both of these are dangerous variants of extremism. The difference is through violence extremism you use violence to make some religious or political points. So you`re not right by saying there`s no extremism going on in the mosques or in homes, because although the Imam doesn`t kill, he could use other weapons. So many parents try to shape their kids the same way their very own parents shaped them.

Not many Muslims are ready and confident enough to say that. I don`t want to be like them, I don`t want to have the same voice as them. I want to tell people what I`ve experienced, which is of course risky and scary, but someone has to. I want to be that someone. I want to tell people how things actually are and not cover anything. How the hell is that going to help us? Sorry, my friend, but I don`t want to be a coward and go all self-defensive. Trust me, I`ve seen enough of people like that my entire life and I`m so done with that kind of shit.

I showed some examples from the Quran which might be an inspiration to the people from ISIS. Or Al-Qaida. Saying they should be understood in that and that context and doing it are two different things, you know. Yeah, Islam is peaceful, but are people being peaceful? Hell, no. But then again, is Islam truly peaceful or what? Considering these verses, one can get confused. I am confused and frustrated and trying to find my place. Someone asked me if it`s hard for me to find myself. Yes, it is. Some days are worse than others. It`s so stupid of people to always have to tear me apart because some people want me to be living in Norway while others in Pakistan. It`s hard to satisfy everyone. People say Islam is easy, well, I`m sorry to say this, but to me it`s not easy. Is saying that a sin too?tumblr_mmoo7hNcKa1s1xw0so1_500

I simply want people to be open-minded and understand that just because THEY don`t look at Islam as an evil religion, others might. And instead of yelling at them and going all self-defensive, try to understand where they`re coming from! Instead of being so full of yourself, try to be open and realise people are different. Not everyone`s going to be a Muslim and THAT`S alright. It`s completely alright. God made everyone.

But let`s say my speech/presentation was awful and terrible. It went to hell. At least I managed to do it. I don`t want to be a coward, I don`t want to say Hitler was right. I don`t know if I have to say this many more times, but I`ll say it one last time for now – I was talking about A PART of a huge diversity. Not everyone. If there are fathers who`d never allow their daughter to marry a Jew, there are others who`d have nothing against that. Just because you don`t experience your mother saying someting so harsh to your teacher, doesn`t mean others don`t get burned every day by other people saying such things. It also goes around the other way – just because I`ve encountered extremism, doesn`t mean every Muslim has. BUT there are more than we`d like to believe. Also, extremism is to be found in every religion. I`m sure there are Christians people who, while eating dinner, experience things I`ve experienced. So no, I`m not only trying to blame Muslims here.

So why did I have this speech? First of all, I`d like to thanks especially JK, for being one of the best people to talk to. I`m sure others would say the same about it. He`s a weird, but great guy who`s always wanted the best for me, and haha, that was weird for me. I still remember how he and his mother, who also was my teacher, once showed up when we were in Czech Republic to know if I was okay. I felt like they were my parents at that time. Thanks for the love and support! I`d also like to thanks Hanna, Charlotte, Glenn and Grethe for seriously always being there. I remember once Hanna told me I`ll change many lives and today, when I think of those words, I can`t help, but cry. The hardest part was talking about myself and how unfair I and other people are treated by people who think we`re less of Muslims just because we`ve got another sense of style. That`s tiring, to be honest. Frustrating. Today I talked about Islam in a dangerous way. I put my hand into a beehive today. I don`t exactly know what would have happened if I said all those things in a Mosque, but it wouldn`t be that good. Today I asked my religion many questions, which is, to some people, a sign of Christianity. Not everyone would`ve loved what I said today, in front of 100 people. It was a risk I had to take today. Someone had to. It wasn`t all easy-peasy, but I got trough it. They say hold on, stay strong. I`m trying my best. 

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This speech was a revenge, a way of saying “This is how it is for me” and standing up. One year ago I talked about being lonely and bullying and who thought I`d be speaking about Islam and extremism at this time of the year?  I`m so damn proud of myself and to the haters: Haters are gonna hate. I`m glad I`m not that behind and I`m glad I can be an inspiration.

THANKS A LOT to that girl who, after the speech, told me I`m so brave and inspiring. Thanks for the messages, comments andA big thanks to the people who`ve been so supportive and lifted me up, who`ve been kind to me and accepted me for who I used to be and am today. You couldn`t fix my problems, but you helped me through them and that`s something I`ll never forget.

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