I want to be honest with you guys.
I received a lot of support from people all over the country after my article. I was surprised and wasn`t that much bothered by the mean comments. I know how to answer back and people laughed at my comments because let`s face it – my replies can be very sharp.
But weeks have passed and first of all – I haven`t received much support from my Muslim friends. Perhaps because their parents would say something. Maybe because they think I`m wrong and are too much of cowards to say that straight to me. One of my Muslim friends on Facebook shared my article and commented it, which meant a lot. But apart from her – where is everyone else? It`s not only about the article – when my uncle died, most of those who say they care weren`t there for me. My mum`s friends didn`t bother visiting us and it made me very upset. At my birthday nobody even bothers doing anything special for me. It makes me wonder – do people even care, what do they think of me and what I do, what do they want from me, what can I expect from them?
I have Sara and Thea and I feel so lucky to have them, but I`m thinking of all those whom claim that they care but barely show it. I miss those other people whom I once considered as my friends or people whom cared about me. I`ve met way more people in my life than Sara and Thea. I`m so tired of explaining it – if you care, you show so. If you say you care, but don`t show so, you don`t know the true meaning behind the words “I care.” I “only” want more people to care, I want people to actually be true and honest with me. If you don`t want me in your life – let me know instead of keeping me in the dark. I`m so tired – I give so much and barely get anything in return. I give so much of myself to people, I trust them and try my best to keep them happy – but what about me?
It feels like I`m the only one who`d visit my friend who`s in the psychiatry. Or who`d be there for someone who`ve lost someone I don`t know. It feels like I`m the only one who bothers messaging someone who just ends up never replying afterwards. People say they`re too busy, yet they have time to be on Facebook 2 am at night. Perhaps to talk to someone who`s much better than me.