“Have you made any friends at the university?”
This is a question I`ve been asked by people, mainly my family. I can`t do anything, but shake my head. Friends? Do people call each other friends after knowing each other for less than a week?
I must confess that if that`s the case, then I`m not like that. I love getting to know new people. I love talking, I love socializing. I love listening to where people come from, what they do, their talents.. lately I`ve also been more and more interested in people`s baggage. I think I`ve always been that, though. Anyways, back to what this post actually is about – making friends and how I don`t call other people a friend of mine until I`m sure they`re capable of being my friend.
It`s not like I test them. But they have to be genuine, caring, kind. They have to want to be there for me, they have to care enough about me to not throw me away the next morning.
As a little girl, I experienced many “friendships” that never were friendships. I remember this girl whom ditched me for this other girl and I remember how angry I was that day. I didn`t quite understand what that other girl had, that I didn`t have, but I realise now that both of them weren`t worth my time.
I`ve spent so much time with people whom I thought were my friends, just for them to go around and call me names, say ugly things to me such as “go and kill yourself” and not give me enough time. The past few years I`ve realised more and more of what kind people I want to surround myself with and spend my time with. So, when I met Sara and Thea, I didn`t call them my friends for some months, even though they looked at me as their friend. It`s hard to know who you can trust or not these days, so I decided to give it time, which is a great choice I made. They`re pretty much my best friends today and we`re already making plans for my birthday!
This week I`ve met many new people and I really want to get to know them which I am, slowly. But, don`t expect me to call you my friend because I`ve known you a couple of days. Trust takes time to build and I want to know for sure that I`m spending my time on people that actually really care about me, knows me and wants me well. I`m over that kind of shit where you hang out with people for a short time and then you end up getting hurt. I`ve been there too many times and I`ve had enough.
Just felt like letting this out. Don`t feel pressured to make friends as quickly as possible – take your time with friendships, guys! It should happen naturally, be friends with someone because both of you want it. 🙂
Now I`m going to go to bed – way too late, I know, but I don`t really feel sleepy. I`m having my first lecture tomorrow, so wish me luck!!