TAKE YOUR TIME WITH FRIENDSHIPS

“Have you made any friends at the university?”

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This is a question I`ve been asked by people, mainly my family. I can`t do anything, but shake my head. Friends? Do people call each other friends after knowing each other for less than a week?

I must confess that if that`s the case, then I`m not like that. I love getting to know new people. I love talking, I love socializing. I love listening to where people come from, what they do, their talents.. lately I`ve also been more and more interested in people`s baggage. I think I`ve always been that, though. Anyways, back to what this post actually is about – making friends and how I don`t call other people a friend of mine until I`m sure they`re capable of being my friend.

It`s not like I test them. But they have to be genuine, caring, kind. They have to want to be there for me, they have to care enough about me to not throw me away the next morning.

As a little girl, I experienced many “friendships” that never were friendships. I remember this girl whom ditched me for this other girl and I remember how angry I was that day. I didn`t quite understand what that other girl had, that I didn`t have, but I realise now that both of them weren`t worth my time.

I`ve spent so much time with people whom I thought were my friends, just for them to go around and call me names, say ugly things to me such as “go and kill yourself” and not give me enough time. The past few years I`ve realised more and more of what kind people I want to surround myself with and spend my time with. So, when I met Sara and Thea, I didn`t call them my friends for some months, even though they looked at me as their friend. It`s hard to know who you can trust or not these days, so I decided to give it time, which is a great choice I made. They`re pretty much my best friends today and we`re already making plans for my birthday!

This week I`ve met many new people and I really want to get to know them which I am, slowly. But, don`t expect me to call you my friend because I`ve known you a couple of days. Trust takes time to build and I want to know for sure that I`m spending my time on people that actually really care about me, knows me and wants me well. I`m over that kind of shit where you hang out with people for a short time and then you end up getting hurt. I`ve been there too many times and I`ve had enough.

Just felt like letting this out. Don`t feel pressured to make friends as quickly as possible – take your time with friendships, guys! It should happen naturally, be friends with someone because both of you want it. πŸ™‚

Now I`m going to go to bed – way too late, I know, but I don`t really feel sleepy. I`m having my first lecture tomorrow, so wish me luck!!

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11 thoughts on “TAKE YOUR TIME WITH FRIENDSHIPS

  1. Good luck tomorrow!! ❀ I totally understand your definition of friendship! I used to be like that as well; however, now it's different since I'm much more open about myself so people also open up faster. I'm not saying I make friends within weeks; it's more like I have many people in my life I don't know how to label because we trust each other, but don't know each other well enough to say we're "real" friends. (I hope you get what I mean :D)

    Anyways, I do hope you'll find some lovely people who will soon become your friends! πŸ™‚

    Liked by 1 person

    1. Thanks, Monika!! Yesterday`s lecture was great, but there`s a lot to learn and understand, haha.. I do have people I call my best friends, but that has taken time for me. I do open up, when I know that I really can, because I`ve been betrayed/abandoned so many times. I`m glad to hear you have people you trust, and hopefully you`ll find some real friends too very soon! I`m honoured to know you and who knows, maybe we`ll be great friends one day? πŸ˜‰

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      1. ahh you misunderstood me πŸ˜€ I know you have real friends and so do I – I was referring to something else, that it once took a while too before I called someone a friend, but today I’m much more open and so are the others, which makes it easier to bond and connect.
        I’d love to get to know you one day! πŸ™‚
        and yeah, I’ll start my course in a month and am afraid to be overwhelmed by it haha

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        1. Can`t remember what exactly I replied, but you also said you don`t have any people that you call “real” friends? Good luck with your course, I`m sure you`ll do well!! πŸ˜€

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          1. haha I just checked. I meant that there are many ‘new’ people that are somewhere between good acquaintances and friends, but aside of them, there are a couple of long-trusted friends πŸ™‚
            haha thank you, I’ll see πŸ˜‰

            Liked by 1 person

  2. Some of my closest friends at uni I only made in the second semester, from January onwards! However I would say my best friend at uni has been my friend since the start 😊 sometimes you just click with people but usually it takes a few weeks, even months! 😊

    Liked by 1 person

    1. Thanks for sharing your experiences, Janet! Yeah, I`ve heard of people “like you” and I`ve heard of people who met their best friend after several months. It depends! I think “clicking” with people and actually knowing them are two different things, though.

      Liked by 1 person

      1. Yeah definitely! For me, clicking with my friend lead to us becoming closer and getting to know each other. But I know it doesn’t always work like that. Most of the time the people you meet in your first week won’t be your friends by the time you leave uni!

        Liked by 1 person

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