Yesterday I had a little eye-operation. The doctor put a bandage on one of my eyes and made me walk out like that. I went home with a bandage on my eye. I was at the bus with a bandage on my eye. It wasn`t just a bandage – it was a wake-up call too.
The night before I had watched “Body bizzare”. I`m too scared to post any photos, but basically it`s about people who`re born with rare diseases. And then I really mean rare diseases. People who have no nose and are blind. There was a girl who was 9 and yet she looked like she was a little baby because of her height. People with several eyes. People with no arms or upper legslegs. Women with beards. You name it. Very rare diseases. While watching it, I couldn`t help but cry and be so damn thankful for my nose. Or my hands. My arms. My legs. The ability to walk means a lot to me. I`m so thankful for not being blind, for being able to listen to the water running.
Don`t get me wrong – I don`t hate blind people or people without arms. I just feel sorry for them because I feel like they don`t have what I have. Some people have to stick to a wheel-chair for a whole life time and that makes me incredibly sad. They can`t walk like me, they can`t do things I can do and I just feel really sorry for them. I wish I could help them, but I can`t. I feel so helpless when I see people who`re blind, for example. Maybe they`re not missing anything because usually, people are born blind, but I know what they`re missing and it just makes me sad, because here I am. My health is perfect and I`m not handicapped in any way and there they are. They`re not even able to see the people they love or this beautiful world and I just wonder why.
It was just a small eye-operation. Nothing big deal, but the bandage got me thinking. What if I only had one eye? Or what if I suddenly became blind? What would I do? I`d freak out, I`d be depressed – I don`t know if I`d even want to stay the way I am right now. I can walk, I don`t need my parents to take care of me 24/7 the rest of my life. I`m fine. I can even pay for an appointment with the doctor. Many people can`t even do that and they stay with their rare diseases for the rest of the life. There was this man with this huge lump on his face. It was very very huge – just like a ball. He got it removed, but not everybody`s that lucky. And so I felt so lucky yesterday. So lucky that I felt like crying while I was walking out of the building. With the bandage on my eye.
I`m so damn thankful for not being blind or deaf. I`m so thankful for not having cancer or any disease like that. I`m so thankful for being okay and I need to remind myself of that every single day. It`s so easy to even take your eyes for granted, which shouldn`t be the case at all. Not everybody`s that lucky.
So when I took of the bandage three hours later yesterday I told myself to be thankful. And so I am. For being able to watch the words as I type them, for being able to write this. Thank you, God.