I FOUND MYSELF AGAIN

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Last week I finished a book, which was written by a woman who survived the Second World War, along with her sister (she was born in 1944) and her parents. More about the book later. When I finished it, I was reminded of my passion, if you can call it that, about the war and the Holocaust. About what happened to Jews at that time, about the evilness that surrounded so much of the world at that time. I was reminded of Anne Frank, a young girl, whom unfortunately died in the conzentration camp Bergen-Belsen in 1945, that I`ve been looking up to for several years. She`s inspired me, she`s given me so much courage and she has made me realise and understand so many things that I don`t know where to begin.

Anne Frank also lost her grandmother. She died when Anne was 12, due to cancer. My grandmother also died due to cancer. I think that when someone you`re inspired by and look up to, no matter who it is, and that person has encountered the exact same as you (with different circumstances, of course), you find comfort and trust in knowing that. Anne Frank wrote in her diary that she never really got to tell her how much she loved her. I feel the same about my own grandmother, therefore it`s so amazing that I can seek relief, gratification and satisfication in her situation and in her diary. To me, Anne`s a symbol for hope and inspiration. Imagine that she looked upon her situation as a “fairytale”, despite the circumstances. The Second World War was going on around her, people were dying in the camps and there was so much evilness. Yet she managed to keep her head up and she never lost faith in her dreams and passion. That, guys. THAT is inspiring and there`s so much we can learn from a little woman like Anne Frank, whom died too soon. Many criticize people for romantizing Anne`s story. There`s no doubt her life ended in a tragedy – a tragedy that we need to prevent from happening again. But, I believe many don`t find most of her life that tragic – I can only recommend you (if you already haven`t), to read her diary. She was so hopeful about life, she had so many dreams and wishes for herself and she knew who she was. She was so young and had such a talent – she`s one of the very few that talented young authors in the world. She died, but her spirit refused to die and that`s what I believe many people find so sad and tragic, and yet beautiful. I know I do. She died so many years ago and there are people now who`re inspired by her, who consider her a hero, who visit Prinsengracht 263 just to see where she and 7 other people hid during the war and there are several people that have written to her dad. If people found nothing beautiful and great about her story, they wouldn`t have written to her father, while he was alive. She died, but her voice never died. The music inside her heart never died.

I found courage in her story and diary again. I`ve been reading about Holocaust and especially Anne for some days and I can`t get enough. I don`t know if you know this, but I found her diary several years ago, when I was in 6th grade and I was so amazed. I still am amazed. I also read Mona`s story, and I realised how there was so much brutality around them. I`ve read other diaries from the war too as well, and they`re so brutal but it`s not like you`re crying all along. You get amazed too. How people were able to keep their heads up. These diaries and other documents are life-affirming records of their spirits and hopes in the face of cruelty and danger.

Reading about Holocaust and how so many people were able to be optimistic, made me realise that I can do it too. It made me realise that I`m stronger than I think I am and that if Anne can, I can too. If another woman can, why can`t I? I found comfort in her and that`s why I`m doing so much better. I needed my time, but now it feels like I never died. I feel like I kind of locked myself inside a cage and without knowing, someone opened up the door and now I`m flying again. I feel so much better already. I had to work with myself and I`m glad I gave myself time, but this only proves you never know what`s going to happen tomorrow.

This doesn`t mean I`m never going to cry about what happened with my grandmother. I still miss her so much and I wonder what actually happened, even though I was there all along. But, someone else has been where I am now and she did fine. I`ll do fine too. If a person, during a World War, during such inhumane times can find hope and be so faithful, I can too. After such a long time I feel like “myself” again and I feel so inspired to grasp life and find out what it holds for me.

Thank you, Annelies Mary Frank. Thanks to all the heroes from the war that inspire me and thousands of people out there every day. You might be dead, but your voices refused to die.

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