MONDAY

Today`s been a great day – I believe it`s because I went to this library to do some studying today, before the lecture, because of the sun and how the weather was nice today. We`re in the middle of October and Norway`s weather isn`t the most stable one, so it was quite nice to leave the house with a milkshake and my sunglasses. The sun mixes very well with the autumn colours, as well. I really like autumn, especially when it`s  not too cold.

IMG_1491IMG_1513Also, I could live in a library. Each time I visit one, I wish I stayed there on my own. Some libraries here are available from 7 AM to 11 PM, if you upgrade your library card. I find that opportunity were handy, especially where I live. The library, which it takes about 10 minutes to get to by the train, is pretty much empty on Sundays and is therefore good to use then, if you`re me, haha. Speaking of libraries – I`m going to do a little book haul here, where I`ll show you my previous and current readings, along with some other books. Hope anyone of you is up for that! 🙂 IMG_1569

I hope you`re having a great day, wherever you are. Now I need to do a short assignment, have a lovely day. 

PS: When you publish a post without a title, you realise how not-so-focused your mind is, haha. Better late than never, though.

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DO WE NEED A DAY FOR GIRLS?

I`ve heard boys and men asking the same old question: why do we have a “Women`s Day” or day for girls?

10 % of the world`s population today got married while they still were kids. Many girls don`t go to school, pretty much because the family`s too poor or they don`t prioritize her education. In many countries women unfortunately are blamed, if they get raped. “Why were you out so late?” “Maybe you shouldn`t have worn a short skirt!” The words, the accusations are many. Most child brides are women, many girls/woman are sexually assulted and many are taught that the kitchen is their home. In several industries, woman are underestimated, underevalued. In many socities, the case is that a girl exists so that she can take care of her family and the house. Her thoughts and feelings are irrelevant. Read history, and you`ll understand how men have been ruling in so many cases. Men have been “above”. Did you know women didn`t have the vote to right till 1913, in Norway? Did you know that in England or Wales alone, two women are killed each week by a current or former partner? Did you know every third girl in developing countries get married before turning 18? In Bangladesh, 66 % of girls are married before they turn 18. 

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I`m not telling you all this, to make you feel sorry for “us”, even though I hope you feel some sort of sympathy for all these girls (and women) out there, who`re living a life they haven`t dreamt of. I`m glad we have a day like this where we can focus on girls` rights, BUT it won`t help if we don`t make a change the other 364 days. Also, this doesn`t mean there aren`t boys and men struggling out there. Of course there are and we absolutely need to help them too. Nevertheless, girls and women belong to the gender that have been oppressed the most during history and we still see bits of that happening all over the world.

And to the boys and men, who ask why they don`t have their very own day? Well, you do. It`s on 19th November and is celebrated in 60 countries. So don`t worry. But like I said – we need to fight every day. Not only today. This isn`t only about the rights of girls and boys – this is about fundamental human rights.

TAKE CARE OF YOUR MENTAL HEALTH

Today`s World Mental Health Day, so I thought I`d share some advices which should be helpful when life gets tough and your head gets too much. I know very well that sometimes, your own mind can be “overwhelming”. It`s not always easy to “control” your own head and neither can you control life, but it`s possible, especially if you learn how to deal with your own emotions and obstacles coming your way, in a positive and prosperous way.


💘 Talk about what you`re facing, about the difficult thoughts and feelings you`re dealing with, with someone you trust. It could be a friend, someone in your family or your doctor. For some people it`s easier to rely on a stranger, who know nothing about you and might not judge you. In most cases you necessarily don`t have to meet that person ever again.

💘 Plan positive activites and accomplish them. Do something nice every day, it doesn`t have to be anything huge. Go out for a walk, read the book you`ve been so excited about,  bake a cake or some lovely croissants, have a coffee with a friend, paint or write something, visit a library, have a pamper evening – be creative!

💘 Divide the problems into smaller bits, if they start getting too heavy to carry. Focus on one thing at a time and try to find a way to deal with them.

💘 Think of everything you`re good at and everything you can do, instead of everything you`re not good at or everything you`re not able to accomplish. Be positive!

💘You`re most likely the only person in the park who`s thinking of how your hair looks like or how your jacket`s not matching your shoes. WHO CARES? Other people barely notice these things and what so if they find you weird? You can`t please everyone. No, but really – other people don`t really care if your hair`s not exactly on point (I bet it is, it`s just your mind). Most people don`t even notice the flaws and mistakes we notice when it comes to ourselves. Go out with your head high and be proud of who you are. Don`t overthink. We tend to criticize and judge ourselves too much. I remember reading about this girl once, who thought her nose was too big. It was only after pointing that out to her friends, that they realised her nose was “big”, but even then they told her she looks completely fine. Whenever you start criticizing or judging yourself, ask yourself: would I say the same to someone else? To my best friend? To my mum, or my brother?

💘 Always remember you`re never alone, the lady sitting next to you on the bus is most likely facing some obstacles too. Someone before you has been through pretty much the same as you, and they did okay.

💘 Healthy eating habits, enough sleep and physical activity are important elements, when it comes to mental health.

💘Be your own best friend. Treat yourself the way you`d treat a friend.

💘 Everything will be alright.

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What do you do, to take care of yourself and your own mind? Do you believe having a day like this, is important?

THERE IS SOMETHING ABOUT AUTUMN NIGHTS

There`s something about autumn nights. The orange lights. The cold, fresh air. There`s something different about the atmosphere, maybe I like it more because people aren`t so busy when the city is surrounded by darkness. They`re not everywhere. Less people on the train, less people inside the bus. Less people in the shops. 

It`s as if I can keep the city more for myself. I wish I could keep it for myself.

I like the nights. I wish I could spend more time in the cities, during nights. I want to enjoy late night walks with someone I love. I want to see the city nights. 

On Friday I went to Bjørndal. Bjørndal? It`s where I grew up. It`s where I met the first people I considered my friends. Bjørndal is where I`ve spent most of my time on this earth. I can imagine little me, jumping on the trampoline in the garden. I remember the little plastic house we had, which suddenly blew away one day. I remember the day I was scared, I remember the days I came home furious because the bullies had made fun of me once again. I remember the day when I and my brother woke up about fifteen minutes before school started and we managed to reach school on time. Pretty much everything started there. Bjørndal. The place is so quiet, it looks so good in the sun. I moved away about 5 years ago, and yet? Yet not much has changed, but people have. 

The clock was ten, when I was on my way home. For some seconds, I felt so calm. Late evening, city nights and not that many people were walking around. 

But weren`t people in Las Vegas, enjoying another city night? There I was, in Oslo, not scared at all. While people in Las Vegas? Many went out to enjoy a concert, to celebrate music, and some never came back.

The contrasts in the world scare me. 

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The past days have been okay, but not so okay at the same time. Did anyone hear about Sonny Melton? That man wasn`t selfish at all, when he gave up his own life, to rescue his wife, Heather. Between all the mess, the blood and the bullets, there was love. What a good man Sonny was. He was trying to shield his wife. I feel like way too few people would do that, I feel like we`ve lost the meaning of pure and true love in this mad world, but that?

That is pure love that I hope I`ll find one day, along with some great autumn nights. 

As I`ve been writing this, I`ve realised more and more that this post might not make that much of sense. Let`s just say I this season, especially at night. 

HOW TO BUILD SELF-CONFIDENCE?

This is a post I wrote a while ago. Hopefully this will help someone out there. 


1. You`ll never be able to please everyone in your life. I think even if you sometimes please a person, he or she will make fun of you, laugh at you and so on. I`ll never understand why, to be honest, but they say they do it out of jealousy. Once you understand you won`t ever be able to make everyone happy and satisfied by what you do, you`ll realise most opinions don`t matter. Also I wouldn`t recommend you to hang out with people who can`t be happy on your behalf. Just saying.

2. One of the things I started to do a little at Østmarka (the secondary school I went to) and even more when I joined high-school was to realise and understand that if someone in my life puts me down or makes me feel small, I owe it to myself to let them know that I expect something different from them. I deserve better. So, if someone doesn`t treat you the way you deserve, let them know it`s not okay at all. Don`t let them get away with it. D-O N-O-T.

3. Don`t automatically give in to the instant pay-off – it often means you`re selling yourself short. Treat yourself well and be your own very best friend! You might loose everyone else in your life but there`s a guarantee you`ll always have you and yourself.

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4. Being confident doesn`t mean you do everything on your own – sometimes it also means asking someone else for help.

5. Do what you got to do, do what you believe is right, even if others mock or criticize you for it. Keep in mind you`ll never be able to please everyone anyways! 😉 What others think about you shouldn`t matter as long as you know what and who you are!

6. You need to know who you are. That`s your job, not anyone else`s. You have to work on yourself by yourself. If you don`t feel confident as a person, you don`t really feel like you have much of a personality that matters. If you don`t know who you are, you`re more likely to let others do the job. If you stand for nothing, you`ll fall for anything. If someone says you`re not worth anything, you might start to believe it. Also, believe in yourself. Believe that you matter and you are capable of doing great things. Personally I believe this one are among the most important ones.Y ou need to build yourself up that tall that if anyone tries to break you, they won`t succeed.

7. I`d like to believe body confidence is important too, but that`s not the most important part because your body isn`t your personality. What matters is your heart and your inside. Me saying you`re beautiful just the way you are and all that won`t help you, because it`s not like you`ve never been told that. IInstead, I`d like to tell you that you won`t be truly loved because of what you look like, but what you do. Their world won`t be your body, their world will be your love. And your love comes from your heart, not your body. You`ll be successful in your life not because of what you look like, but your confidence, you willing to create something. Your body is a piece of art, but it won`t do magic and art for you. You`ll have to do that magic and art by being you. Beauty isn`t about a pretty face, it`s about a pretty heart and a beautiful soul. Nothing can match a good heart.

NO FREEDOM WITHOUT LOVE

Writing about how much it was raining here yesterday morning or how wet and cold I was, seems absolutely pointless now. Posting yesterday about things that don`t really matter in the end, when people far away are being killed, really seemed pointless. I read about the mass shooting in Las Vegas when I was at school yesterday and I must say I didn`t want to read about it, because… I`m so tired of it. I`m exhausted and each time something like this happens, I ask myself how a human being can even think of killing another human being. How does a person decide he`s going to leave his house, to go and kill as many people as possible? I really don`t know and these questions make the sadness and pain ever more tougher. No answers will be good enough.

42 weapons. 59 died.

I stayed up last night and looked through some of the profiles of the people who were killed in Las Vegas.

“Rembering Quinton Robbins”.

“Rembering Sonny Melton”

How hard it must be for their friends and family to see that one word. “Remembering.”

The empty chair around the dining table. The empty bed, the empty room. They`re never coming home again. Never ever. They left the house, never thinking they were never ever going to get back home. They never know the hug, the kiss they gave their kids or someone they loved, was going to be the last one. It was going to be the last time.

I can barely imagine the pain, the sorrows, the emptiness. The holes they have to live with the rest of the lives. The fear, maybe even anger.

I notice how the discussions about USA`s gun laws already have begun. Personally I think that`s important, we need to start acting as soon as possible and do something about the gun violence. More than 11.000 people have died because of gun violence the last 275 days.

But for the people in Las Vegas, it was already too late Sunday evening.

My thoughts, prayers and love go out to everyone affected by the tragedy. This is sick, this is awful and we desperately need to fight the hate with love. Or else it`s going to be too late for more people, way too soon.

I saw this a little earlier and thought I`d share this. Such a beautiful song. There`s no love without freedom and there`s no freedom without love.