“if I turn my back on you
you might can see everything I`m carrying”
//photo from here & poem from @en__dose
“What is it?”, she says.
I`m sitting at the couch. The black couch. It`s not my first time here, yet it feels like it`s the first time. Everything has changed.
I`m looking down at hands. That`s the easiest thing to do. I didn`t know my nails look so weird. I tell myself to paint them red when I get home.
“I`m asking you something – what is it?”
There`s a lot I want to say, but I don`t want to. I guess the saddest thing is that sometimes it easier to say nothing. Not everyone knows how to fix something that`s broken anyways, so what`s the point.
“How am I supposed to know when you`re not telling me anything?”
As if you`re supposed to know anything, I think to myself. I don`t say anything. Of course I don`t. I trusted you once, I`m not trusting you again. I shared my secrets with you. Nobody knew them, but you weren`t nobody so I shared them with you. With fear and hope dancing with each other, I shared them. And oh, dear. I regret it too much.
“Don`t you trust me?”
“Would you trust someone who`ve broken your trust once?
I can tell my words hit her. Hard. She doesn`t know what to say. That`s what I wanted.
“I`ll tell you absolutely everything, I`ll share my secrets with you all over again only if you are able to break a plate and put it back together to exactly what it was. I don`t care how you do it, as long as it goes back to the way it was before. ”
She`s staring at her nails. Now it`s her time to study her nails. They look far better than mine, by the way.
“Do you get it now?”
The past few years I`ve been travelling a lot, and a lot more is yet left to do! There are so many places I want to go and the crazy part is that there are so many hidden gems out there that I don`t know about. So, here are some places I want to visit!
I went there last summer, mainly to fulfill a huuuuge dream of mine, which was to visit the Anne Frank Museum. I spent about two days in Amsterdam, so the hope now is to visit Amsterdam and have at least five days there. I want to see the canals again, take a boat, visit Utrecht, the Van Gogh Museum, visit Westerbork camp, eat a lot of croissants and of course visit the Anne Frank Museum again.
I have no particular places in India I`d like to go to, but I just want to encounter the Indian culture and see for myself what life there is like. My parents are from Pakistan and I`ve spent some time in Pakistan so I do have an idea, but India is also different in some ways. The fashion, the streets, the food, the people… Seems really fascinating! And this might sound weird, but I want to see the poverty and the struggles people are facing there. Hopefully I can help at least someone.
Le Paris! We were planning to visit the capital of le France 2-3 years ago with my family in Germany, but the plans went out the window. I want to see the Eiffel Tower, eat a lot of croissants (who doesn`t love them), get my hands on French fashion and hopefully learn a little French. And let`s not forget Disneyland!
Sara`s been to Rome and she loves the city and the country. I`m very interested in history, so this is another destination I want to go to because of the architecture and the buildings there which bring you back to the old days, and because of the atmosphere. I have an aunt who lives in Italy, so I`d also like to visit her one day!
I`ve been to Prague before, it`s such a harmonic and beautiful city! It`s almost six years ago since I was there, so first of all I want to visit all the places I went to then plus see more of the historical places that I still haven`t discovered. Plus, everything is so cheaper here!
I`ve heard a lot about this country. It looks beautiful. I mean, look at the markets and the deserts there? I think this would be another country with a very interesting culture.
Another capital I went to back in 2012. I still remember walking around and looking for things I wanted to buy. What a new experience it was to be out of the country and buy things for my own. Krakow is a very beautiful city, with a lot to show. I want to visit the consentration camps again and the salt mine. I also want to do a lot of shopping here, and see the parts of Krakow that I didn`t get to see years ago!
So, that are some places I want to visit! Where would you like to go? Do you have any favourite destinations? Or maybe you have any trips booked already? I`d love to hear about them!
Something I`ve put on my wall.
It`s easy to think that being kind and soft are two not that powerful characteristics, especially when most people take them for granted. When the world can be hard and cold. But honey, “be like water, flowing so beautifully and effortlessly, washing away all that is bad.” Be soft but strong, and you`ll be the one still standing.
Two days ago I was at this event about human rights. In the end the audience was asked what we should do, to maintain the human rights and work harder to follow them. I thought I`d share what I (ca.) said, because I believe it`s important:
I think it`s important that we are there for each other and see each other. We can`t allow to tell ourselves that other people`s problems are not our problems, because if we`re not going to help each other, who are?”
Am I the only one who wakes up relieved on Saturdays? Haha, I like Saturdays because it`s the first day of the weekend. No need to worry about Monday, yet.
I went out for a walk earlier today, and noticed that the library was open. So, I went in, with the intention to bring with me a book or two that bring up the topics the serial “Baaghi” have issued. Something along the lines of negative social control, honour and shame. I was pretty much in a “girlpower”-mood, haha. So, one of the books I brought with me is this autobiography about Malala. I really want to read inspirational books, so I thought this was a good one.
If you have any book recommendations (fiction and non-fiction) that are full of “girl-power” or about shame and honour culture, let me know! I can deal with feminist books, as long as they`re sensible. ✨