Remember last year when we celebrated my cousins` birthday, grandma?
You were in the nursing home, so we had a short celebration there. My grandfather, my aunt, my uncle, I, you and of course the birthday kids. We sat around the bed and S & S cut the cake. You smiled. You tasted the cake a little, the rest of us ate some cake and talked about things I don`t really remember. But I do remember you. How can I ever forget.
I don`t know if you knew it was going to be the last birthday you got to be a part of. I don`t know if you could feel it, either inside your heart or through the atmosphere. I`m not sure if I knew it, deep inside, but it didn`t come to my mind. You lived enough to see them turn nine years old, you lived enough to see me grow up and become a young lady. I`m happy you got to celebrate their last birthday, but also sad about all the ones you`ve missed, because you`re not here with us anymore. We celebrated their tenth birthday last week and it was fun, but you weren`t there. For the very first time you weren`t there. I can`t get over how fast life changes, how you`re not here today and how you`re never going to give me a hug. This is crazy and I can feel it too much. I never celebrated my 19th birthday with you, but I`m happy on behalf of my cousins who got to celebrate one last birthday with you.
I know you loved your grandchildren a whole lot and we all miss your love, we miss your hugs and you might worry about them, but I can assure you I`m always going to be there for S & S and take care of them.