IS THE SOCIETY DOING GOOD NOW?

Honour killing in countries across is common, where a member of a family (or a community) believes the victim has brought dishonour upon the family, community or the society and take matters in their own hands by ending the victim`s life. That way, they`ll “regain” their honour and can move on with their lives. Qandeel Baloch was killed by her own brother at her parents` home. As some of you already know, I`ve been watching “Baaghi” recently, which is a Pakistani drama serial based on Qandeel Baloch`s life. She was a social media star. A free spirited soul, a rebel with a cause who set out in search of success and hope for a better life, a small town girl with big dreams, much could be said about her. She chose to live according to her own terms, terms which came with a heavy price.

I watched the last episode again today and cried as if I was seeing it for the first time. I`m not going to write a lot about how much I love the serial or what it has done to me, I just want to share some words. I want to share the epilouge which got me thinking and hopefully got thousands of others thinking, as well. Because the questions asked are so legitimately, they`re so vulnerable and they`re so honest. Like Mevish Javed said: “Baaghi ended with a soul gripping epilogue that questioned societies misjudgements, a real tear jerker for sure. It had me feeling numb, heartbroken and distraught. This is the society we unfortunately are part of, a society that judges without understanding, a society that points fingers not realising 3 point back to them, a society that fails to realise you should fault the sin not the sinner. Qandeels actions may have been wrong, bold and judged but her intentions were to use the platform her situations created in order to provide for her poor family, despite having 6 brothers she became the man of the house.”

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The epilouge was “Qandeel`s” voice, and here`s what she said (note that it`s my translation). Keep in mind that Qandeel was killed because she was, according to the society, bad and destructive for it:

“False honour and public frauds have taken the lives way too early of so many Qandeels like me. The right of handling and changing myself which God had given to me, was taken from me.  I was bad for the society, a threat to people`s ethics. Despite how I was, I`ve left your world.

Without giving any explanations and without defending myself, I just want to ask this: the evilness has come to an end now, right? I mean, people`s ethics survived. What about the society? What happened with it? Is the society alright now? Hmm?”

 

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SOME THOUGHTS

Oh, wow! I logged in and read your interesting thoughts on the last post. Thank you for liking it so much. I`m going to reply to your comments, but first I thought I`d share my thoughts on some of them here:

♥ Of course having a brain isn`t enough – you need to use it too! And that`s what I meant. All of us have our own brain and I don`t know about you guys, but here in Norway there are maaany that love to point at influencers/celebrities/other people and blame them for how they feel about themselves. But, in my opinion we should be responsible for the decisions we make. Like I said, it`s not always that easy, but it`s up to you whether you want to get affected by the beauty standards or not.

♥ The post was mainly about that – the beauty standards in the world. They tell us how we can achieve the “perfect” face and body. You also have doctors that are earning money because of plastic surgery. Isn`t that crazy? They`re literally earning money out of people`s insecurities.IMG_1364

♥ Freedom wasn`t mentioned, and even though the post wasn`t exactly about freedom I see where people are coming from. It`s a really interesting (and a little difficult) discussion, that I might bring up properly another day. But for now: I do agree that we don`t have 100 % freedom, BUT having that would also not be ideal. We need laws and rules in a society, for it to be stable and safe. Also, there will also be certain dress codes, social codes and a behavior code in a society. After all, we have cultures everywhere.

♥ It`s important that we find who we are, and that is often a lifelong process. It might be hard, but it`s not impossible. Does telling someone they`re fat or weak really helps someone? It might help and it might not help. Depends on the person. I kind of agree with that we will never be able to love ourselves if we don`t like what we see in the mirror, BUT that is the point! What do you see in the mirror? Your way too big nose or your ugly legs? Or do you see a person who`s capable of doing anything? I guess it depends on your perspective. 🙂 I think that knowing there`s only one of me in the whole world is kind of exciting – you could look anywhere and you wouldn`t be able to find anyone who`s exactly like me.


That was it for now! Have a good evening. ♥

WHAT SHOULD MATTER IS WHO YOU ARE

Something that`s been annoying me for a while, is the beauty standard in the society. They say natural is the best, but the society makes fun of people without make-up, people who`re not wearing clothes that are trending now and people who don`t have the “perfect” body.

As if that`s possible to achieve.

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I believe each and one of us were given a brain so we could think. Think about our lives and the decisions we make. I believe we chose whether we want to get affected by the beauty standards in the society or not. That doesn`t mean it`s easy, but if we were to point fingers at other people for how we feel what we think of ourselves we`d be pointing forever.

Yeah, maybe someone made you feel bad about the way you look, but don`t give them that power and don`t allow yourself to dislike yourself. Don`t use make-up to look pretty in front of everyone else.  Don`t wear particular clothes just because you know it will make other people happy. Feeling bad about a comment is different than to actively make decisions based on what the society thinks of you. You can live with a stranger not liking you but you disliking yourself is much harder to live with.

I`m not going to say “be you, that`s enough” because we`ve all heard that a million times before. Instead I`m going to tell you this: you`re you and there`s only one of you in the whole world. There`s nobody on earth who`s just like you and nobody looks like you. Take advantage of that. Take advantage of your flaws and strengths. Of course we want to look pretty, we all want to be beautiful but bigger lips or the “perfect” body won`t make you happy. Imagine that you had a twin who looked pretty much just like you. Would you tell him or her “you`re ugly?” Or would you tell your best friend that they don`t look good? No? Then why do we keep scolding ourselves for not being good enough?

Do things that make you happy on the inside. Work on yourself. And remember to treat yourself the way you want others to treat you. Because if it`s true that we want others to love us for who we are, we should love ourselves harder and better.

AT LEAST DON`T WASTE FOOD

We have had some new rules in the house for some time now. One of them is that we`ve divided the grocery shopping between them. So, some weeks it`s my turn to mainly buy bread and milk, but also others things we need. Today I went to buy some bread. Like always, I cut it inside the shop in one of these bread machines, and guess what I met?

Well, this:

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This isn`t something new and it annoyes me every time. Yep, people have thrown fresh bread slices in the dustbin. I don`t know what the shop does with it, but it saddens me how we allow ourselves to just waste food. And this is food we can actually eat! Most of it is FRESH bread. I`ve seen this a lot of times in other shops, as well. Dustbins full of bread slices. We throw so much food, it`s crazy.  According to some data, about 100 000 breads are wasted every day here in Norway. Also, each Norwegian throws an average of 42,1 kilos of full edible food yearly. The consumers throw the most of it. We throw a total of 355,000 tons of food every year. That`s enough food for about 5 millions people (Norway`s population is ca. 5,2 millions, you do the math).

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It makes me sad when I read or hear about hunger in other countries and how they`re not getting food or water, because we have enough food for everyone on the planet plus much more. Still, there are little babies that are malnourished because… well, perhaps academics and politicans would give a more “political correct” answer, but who cares about that – the truth is still that the food isn`t divided fairly – some people have less because others have more.

But really – if you can`t share your food with anyone, at least don`t throw it in the dustbin.

WE MUST REMEMBER

Today`s the Holocaust Memorial Day. This day we should honour the victims, survivors and rescuers of the Holocaust during the Second World War. We should think of them and remind ourselves of what we are capable of doing to other people. We should reflect upon on history and how we want to shape present and the future.

More than five years ago, I visited four conzentration camps. It was an amazing, but sad experience. I still remember when I saw the displays with the legs the Nazis had cut off on people they had done experiments on. It was awful to see that “live”, and I can`t imagine what it must have been like for the people who had to go through such horrible times. It`s actually unimagineable and it`s not something I`m able to swallow 100 %. How can humans do something like that to other humans? Did they know what they were doing? I also “met” a survivor during the trip. She told about her experiences in Ravensbruck and I must admit I was too sleepy, so I didn`t listen carefully. But, something she said in the end will forever stay with me. She told about her husband, which she met after the war. He had died some time ago, and she said something along the lines of “all the time we had been married, he had never said a mean word to me”. Not only are the survivors proof that Holocaust happened, but they also remind us of how cruel and beautiful life can be. It was very sad to hear what she had to say, but it also made me feel at least a little good when she shared what happened after the war. Life moved on. The scars and memories are still there, but we humans have been through some of the most horrible things ever and yet survived.

Because imagine being in the camp, knowing you might not ever be able to see the people you love? Imagine saying goodbye to your husband and not knowing it`s goodbye. Imagine walking inside a “bathroom” and not knowing you`re living the last seconds of your life. Damn, writing this is hard, how hard must it not have been for the people who were suffering at this time.

We MUST remember. We NEED to remember the hatred, the actions and the prejudices from that time. We can`t allow ourselves to forget, because forgetting might mean we allow these things to happen again. We can`t accept the unjustice that happened to someone else, just because it didn`t do us (at least not directly= any harm. There`s nothing we can do to change what happened during the 1930s and 1940s, but we can do a lot right now. I`m scared about how the survivors are slowly dying – soon there won`t be any of them left. Soon the people who actually went through these times, won`t be able to tell their own stories. It`s getting even more important that we listen carefully and carry on their stories so people get to know.

I wish I could say we`ve come far, but just a quick search reminds me of how certain people think it`s a joke and how some people even believe Holocaust never happened. We still have a long way to go and it`s SO important that we remember this, educate ourselves and learn history. No books and no movies can make you completely understand what actually happened, but that`s the least we could do. We owe it to those who died and suffered, simply because they were who they are.

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THERE IS NO HONOUR IN KILLING

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July 2016, the Pakistani social media star Qandeel Baloch, was killed.

By her own brother.

In her parents` home.

For decades women have been indoctrinated to believe that they`re a shameful secret, which must be hidden. They need to act according to the rules and norms that others have set for them. Rebellious actions get punished in one way or another. For Qandeel Baloch, her rebellious actions meant the death.

Upon the brother`s arrest, he claimed he had no regrets and that his sister`s behaviour was “intolerable.” She was bringing shame to the family and destroying their honour. Her brother had to get rid of her by drugging and then asphyxiating her, while she was asleep. Only that way, the family could get back their “honour” and good reputation.

I can`t understand how a brother can do that, but there`s no honour in murder.  Instead of being a man who ended up supressing his sister, he should`ve supported her because at least she dared to do what she wanted to, despite the hate she received from so many people. At least she, as a woman, wasn`t afraid of practising her right to the freedom of speech. If Qandeel`s actions were that rebellious that they became intolerable, it would`ve been better for him to ignore her and let her be. Not everyone in your family is going to live his or her life exactly according to your own beliefs, but that doesn`t mean you kill them. There`s no honour in killing. You don`t earn respect by doing something so horrible. You don`t become a bigger man, by becoming the culprit. What you actually do become, is a person who`ve killed another person.

Imagine if every person who behaved in a “rebellious way”, was killed. Imagine if every “rebellious” person never woke up again. I wonder what kind of a world we would`ve lived in then.

ANNOYING THINGS LATELY

I feel like I`ve been more annoyed lately, especially since I`ve been in Germany and Norway needs to learn certain things from the Germans, haha. Anyways, I thought I`d share some of the things that have been annoying me lately, as it might be fun for you guys to read!


 

⚡️ People on the plane. I`m not the kind of person to get annoyed by lille babies crying, because that`s just how it is. But, it annoyes me when people don`t listen to the messages from the cabin crew. When I arrived Oslo, we were told to “be seated”, and yet some had to stand up and get their baggage out, as if they were going to get out anytime sooner than the rest of us.

⚡️ Speaking of travelling – you when you`re all about to get on the plane, but there are some (many) people who just have to stand in the way, make sure their baggage is safe and put it away and spend a million years doing that and then sit down, just for the next one in the line to do the same. Some people seriously don`t seem to have the word “effectivity” in their dictionaries.

⚡️ How Norway don`t seem to handle the snow very well. It`s almost as if it`s snowing for the first time ever here. It was chaos pretty much everywhere on Tuesday, and I spent about two hours on getting home.

⚡️ This brings me to something that has been annoying me for a while – the ticket prices here. They keep increasing them, even though they`ve been saying they want to make them lower. They did that last year and here we go again. And then they expect people to leave the car at home. What a great logic.

⚡️ What to say about the collective transport`s schedule… I mean, the train here comes once a hour, apart from four hours from Monday to Friday, when it departures twice each hour. If you miss a train, you have to wait for the next one or go home and send a complain to the people who`ve decided that this is what it`s going to be like. It`s better in Oslo, but not good enough. Learn something from Germany, The Netherlands or Spain.

⚡️ I feel like this is becoming a post called “the bad things about Norway”, but trust me, that wasn`t the intention. I`ve got a last one (for now), though. The prices. I mean, I do get we have high payments here and that`s why a lot of stuff in other countries is cheap for us, but some things here are too much.. Taxi, a lot of food, clothes, tickets, books,  to mention some things. If I buy one of the syllabus books from this “cheaper” bookstore, I`ll have to pay 1127 NOK. That`s about 117 Euros or 143 American Dollars. I`d rather visit Amsterdam with that much money, thank you.


That was it for now! Now I`m going to watch some TV and have some food.