BE MORE SOCIAL

Yesterday I went to a book launch, and met a friend of mine –  she used to be the principle at Østmarka (the secondary school I went to). You might be thinking she`s very old, but that`s not the case, haha – she`s in her thities. After the book launch, we talked for a little while and updated each other on what`s been going on. The book launch was my first one ever, it was quite a nice experience. This morning I went to another two book events about Muslims in Norway and negative social control and shame culture, which were quite interesting. I ended up talking to some nice people on both of the events. On my way to the second event I started talking to an old lady. We exchanged thoughts and opinions on the book and the debate the book is about. One of the writers of “Shameless” (which I told you about in the little book haul) was going to talk about the book. Very interesting, she knows how to explain the different terms and express her thoughts and opinions.

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I skipped a lecture so I could join this event, which I`m happy I did. I got to be more social, which is so important! I like meeting new people and doing different things- staying inside the school for several hours without actually being social isn`t really my thing. IMG_1680IMG_1682

This is the university I go to – the University of Oslo. The building on the last picture is the one I usually have lectures and seminars in. Aaaaand as you perhaps can tell, the winter`s arrived Norway. The first snow showed up on Thursday and it looks like it`s here to stay. The days keep getting shorter and it`s okay, actually. Each season has its charm. After the darkness comes the light anyways. Or something like that.

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IT SHOULD BE ALL ABOUT WHO YOU ARE

Many of us have been standing in a room, full of people. We`ve stared at them and thought “oh, wow, she looks amazing”. We end up comparing ourselves to other. “My dress is great, but hers look way better.” We compare our bodies, our faces, our hair with each other, thinking everyone else got everything on point. The same goes for social media – we scroll up and down, thinking other people look better than us and have a better life. We study them, zoom in and out and find everything better in other people`s pictures. Because how many of us would dare to stand in a room and say “I`m beautiful” without feeling ashamed about it? How many of us compliment ourselves in front of other people? Through comparing ourselves with others, we put ourselves down. Imagine if the person in front of you had your nose – would you tell them it`s ugly and that they should get a nose job done? Or would you shame your brother too about how fat he is? Would you tell your parents the things you tell yourself? We`ve become experts on pointing out what we think is wrong about ourselves and how we look. We`ve become experts at standing in front of a mirror and studying everything we need to get fixed.

I challenge you to stand in front of the mirror and focus on you. Focus on the inner you, focus on who you are, not what you look like. Focus on what you can do, focus on what makes you smile, what motivates you, what things you love to do and what makes you get up every morning. Because even though our backs tell stories about us, our bodies don`t define us. We`re not our bodies, we`re humans, we`re us, and like someone else said:

“You will not always be the smartest person in the room, and you will not always be the strongest person or the funniest or the most talented. But you can always be brave and you can always be kind, and these are the things you should be every minute of every day for the rest of your life. Because yes, those other things, they`re great things.

But these things are better.”

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IT WAS NOT A COINCIDENCE

Today I saw a lady, who I instantly recognised.

I was on my way  to the train station. Since I missed the train, I spent the time in the drugstore and in a bookshop. I always look around me wherever I go, I notice people that walk by me, I take in the circumstances I`m in. At days like these I`m even more glad I have a habit of doing that, because today, I saw this lady.

I only had a couple of minutes, so I asked myself whether I had the time to greet her. I told myself it`s no big deal and started walking behind her. “Excuse me?” No response. “Excuse me?” She didn`t turn around. I tap her on her shoulder and she stopped, turned around and she probably recognised me.

“Do you recognise me?” I said, with a grin on my face. It sort of looked like she hadn`t forgotten me.

She hadn`t forgotten me.

I asked how she was doing and gave her a hug.

“I`m 20 now.” I felt like an oldie, while saying that. Damn, I`m actually 20. Thankful and scared at the same time. She was a little shocked. Time sure flies. I asked her how she was doing, gave her another hug and we went out separate ways. I was again on my way to the train station, God knows where she was going and where she actually ended up.

Life`s weird. All of a sudden you meet someone you haven`t met in ages. Sometimes you notice a person you know, sometimes you don`t. Imagine if I hadn`t noticed her today? Maybe today was the last time.

Last time I saw her, was back in 2010. More than seven years ago. I don`t know where she had been and she doesn`t really know where I`ve been, but today we met each other, which was very nice. This lady was there for me, seven years ago. She kept me warm, she listened to me and gave me my own little space at school, when I was young and being bullied. At one point she also gave me this cuttle little black and white sea, which I slept with for some years. When I think of it, I actually had a lot to tell her today, but hopefully we`ll meet again one day soon.

Thank you say much, Inge-Lise. I`m thankful for the love and care you gave me, during my time in primary. You were one of the few people at that time, that listened to little me. I`m very sure us meeting today wasn`t an coincidence. Maybe destiny wanted you to meet me, so it could whisper in your ear “Look, she`s become a young lady and she`s doing good.”

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A LAZY FRIDAY

Friday and everything! I`ve spent most of it in the library today. I didn`t study, but spent my time reading the news and some articles, watching an hour long debate and videos I`ve missed out on. I should`ve studied, but haven`t really felt like it today, which is okay too sometimes. 🙂 While I was in the library, some people in wheelchairs passed by – I think at least some of them were handicapped or paralyzed. I felt so sorry for them, and started thinking about why they`re like like that – are they born that way? Was it an accident? I know speculating won`t lead me any further to an answer, but I really can`t imagine what it must be like for someone to hit an accident and be told by the doctors they`re never going to be able to walk again. I feel like I say this a lot, but I really am so thankful for having a good health condition and being able to walk around, see the world we live in and listen to the birds in the morning.

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We`re having dinner soon – soup and baguettes it is! Have a great Friday. ♥ Also, I do know I haven`t posted part 2 of my Amsterdam trip. It`ll be up very soon, that`s a promise!

IN MY MIND LATELY

♥ It`s Thursday, which means my weekend has begun. I have Fridays off, which is lovely. I think I like weekends better.

♥ The 13th of October marked one year ago since we got to know my grandmother had cancer and can I just say nobody really knows how much I miss her. I don`t really talk much about it with anyone, as I want to deal with it on my own, but I still remember the phone call and the visits at the hospital. How do you learn how to miss someone forever?

♥ Today I went to a libary I`ve never been to – I thought that since my library card already is upgraded, I`d manage to get inside before it opened. Guess what? I didn`t haha.. it took me a little while to get there, so I was disappointed. Turns out the system isn`t similar to the one they have in Oslo – in the district I live in, your card will only be “connected” to the specific library once you`ve visited it. I really want to read a recently released book, and this library is so far the only one nearby that has it. I`ve ordered it though, and hopefully I`ll have it in my hands very soon. Can`t wait!

♥ I know very well what it`s like to be lonely, and I`m quite annoyed by what it`s like here in Norway – many would rather sit alone, than actually take the initiative to sit next to someone who always sits alone. So when I entered the auditorium today, I first sat alone in the front row, but then I changed my mind and sat with this girl I`ve talked to some times. I think it`s important to get to know new people and next time I`m going to sit with someone I haven`t really talked to. People who sit alone, aren`t necessarily lonely, but you never know. Also, we must take care of each other.

♥ Siv Jensen, a Norwegian politician wore an Indian costume (the indigenous people) and ever since then, the debate about whether the costume is offensive or not, has been blown up to that extent, that it`s exhausting and annoying. It`s just a costume, guys! If Siv had bad intentions, I`d understand, but she didn`t, so what is the fuss about? She didn`t wear it to make fun of the indigenous people – nor is this “misusing culture”. Thank God I don`t believe that Norwegians are taking advantage of a part of my culture, whenever they wear an Indian saree. People need to be more chill and not be offended by everything.

♥ Some days ago someone told me I write very well, which made me SO happy. Such compliments make my day.

♥ Since I am a little too confused sometimes when the alarm decides to annoy me in the morning, I`m off to bed now. Good night, earthlings.

 

 

MONDAY

Today`s been a great day – I believe it`s because I went to this library to do some studying today, before the lecture, because of the sun and how the weather was nice today. We`re in the middle of October and Norway`s weather isn`t the most stable one, so it was quite nice to leave the house with a milkshake and my sunglasses. The sun mixes very well with the autumn colours, as well. I really like autumn, especially when it`s  not too cold.

IMG_1491IMG_1513Also, I could live in a library. Each time I visit one, I wish I stayed there on my own. Some libraries here are available from 7 AM to 11 PM, if you upgrade your library card. I find that opportunity were handy, especially where I live. The library, which it takes about 10 minutes to get to by the train, is pretty much empty on Sundays and is therefore good to use then, if you`re me, haha. Speaking of libraries – I`m going to do a little book haul here, where I`ll show you my previous and current readings, along with some other books. Hope anyone of you is up for that! 🙂 IMG_1569

I hope you`re having a great day, wherever you are. Now I need to do a short assignment, have a lovely day. 

PS: When you publish a post without a title, you realise how not-so-focused your mind is, haha. Better late than never, though.

HOW TO BUILD SELF-CONFIDENCE?

This is a post I wrote a while ago. Hopefully this will help someone out there. 


1. You`ll never be able to please everyone in your life. I think even if you sometimes please a person, he or she will make fun of you, laugh at you and so on. I`ll never understand why, to be honest, but they say they do it out of jealousy. Once you understand you won`t ever be able to make everyone happy and satisfied by what you do, you`ll realise most opinions don`t matter. Also I wouldn`t recommend you to hang out with people who can`t be happy on your behalf. Just saying.

2. One of the things I started to do a little at Østmarka (the secondary school I went to) and even more when I joined high-school was to realise and understand that if someone in my life puts me down or makes me feel small, I owe it to myself to let them know that I expect something different from them. I deserve better. So, if someone doesn`t treat you the way you deserve, let them know it`s not okay at all. Don`t let them get away with it. D-O N-O-T.

3. Don`t automatically give in to the instant pay-off – it often means you`re selling yourself short. Treat yourself well and be your own very best friend! You might loose everyone else in your life but there`s a guarantee you`ll always have you and yourself.

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4. Being confident doesn`t mean you do everything on your own – sometimes it also means asking someone else for help.

5. Do what you got to do, do what you believe is right, even if others mock or criticize you for it. Keep in mind you`ll never be able to please everyone anyways! 😉 What others think about you shouldn`t matter as long as you know what and who you are!

6. You need to know who you are. That`s your job, not anyone else`s. You have to work on yourself by yourself. If you don`t feel confident as a person, you don`t really feel like you have much of a personality that matters. If you don`t know who you are, you`re more likely to let others do the job. If you stand for nothing, you`ll fall for anything. If someone says you`re not worth anything, you might start to believe it. Also, believe in yourself. Believe that you matter and you are capable of doing great things. Personally I believe this one are among the most important ones.Y ou need to build yourself up that tall that if anyone tries to break you, they won`t succeed.

7. I`d like to believe body confidence is important too, but that`s not the most important part because your body isn`t your personality. What matters is your heart and your inside. Me saying you`re beautiful just the way you are and all that won`t help you, because it`s not like you`ve never been told that. IInstead, I`d like to tell you that you won`t be truly loved because of what you look like, but what you do. Their world won`t be your body, their world will be your love. And your love comes from your heart, not your body. You`ll be successful in your life not because of what you look like, but your confidence, you willing to create something. Your body is a piece of art, but it won`t do magic and art for you. You`ll have to do that magic and art by being you. Beauty isn`t about a pretty face, it`s about a pretty heart and a beautiful soul. Nothing can match a good heart.