DON`T LET GO OF YOUR DREAMS

Something I wrote a while ago. 


 

People who know me, know how fascinated I am by Anne Frank and her story. I`ve read several books of her, I know when she wrote in her diary and not, some years ago I planned what places I`m going to go to that Anne herself had been to and after several years, I don`t get bored by her diary. Give me her diary and you won`t hear me say anything for hours.

I found out about her when I was 10-11 years old. I believe it was because of a book my brother borrowed from the library – it`s called “Who was Anne Frank?” I read it, and started looking for her diary. I remember sitting next to my desk in sixth grade, and suddenly my eyes noticed the bookshelf next to the teacher`s desk. There was something about it. My eyes looked through the book`s titles from distance, and that`s when I found it. Her diary. I went to the bookcase, took out the book and borrowed it.

Ever since then I`ve borrowed it and read it a million times. Last time I did so, was in May. I had to borrow to copies – one is from 1995 and the other one is from 2012. I just can`t get enough. I`ve read a lot about her, about her family and her diary. I`ve been that obsessed, that I at one point wanted to write just like her, and started studying her handwriting. God, if you guys only knew. Her story fascinates me so much and she reminds me of myself. Her stubbornness, her willpower and her love for reading and writing. I write a diary, I also love history and want to become a journalist or writer one day. Her story thrills me and inspires me. She was full of hope and despite everything, she kept clinging onto her dreams and wishes.

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Ever since I got to know her, I`ve been wanting to visit Prinsengracht 263. I`ve been wanting to go to Amsterdam and find out where she used to be. However,  I had to wait for several reasons. I had to wait for several years. At times I was so impatient that it was almost unbearable. I became less impatient, when I went to four of the concentration camps in 2012 and for a second time went to Sachsenhausen in 2015. I know that might sound odd, as I went to Auschwitz, which is where Anne and the seven people who hid with her in her Dad`s office were brought by the Nazis from Westerbork. Which is where Anne saw her Dad for the very last time. Let`s say being there made me relax a little more when it came to my dreams. My main goal was to visit Amsterdam and the “Achterhuis”, but on the list you can find the names of the camps too. I`ve always been interested in the second world war, so seeing the reality that surrounded millions of people in the 1930s and 1940s, was important to me.

I`ve had to wait for this dream to come true for so many years. I remember a conversation I had with my friends some time ago. Somehow we ended up talking about my dream of going to Amsterdam. I started crying because I had been waiting for so long and there and then I didn`t have it in me to wait anymore. There`s no doubt some people in my life haven`t always valued my dreams, or considered them important. That has made me sad many times. Visiting Amsterdam and the Anne Frank House isn`t that hard either, as long as you have the money. It wasn`t a dream that I had to “work for”, I had to wait for a long time. Way too long, to be honest, but everything happens at the right time and now I can say that having to wait so long, made it even more mindblowing. It was about time and it was completely worth it.

I know what it`s like to have to wait so long for something to happen. I wasn`t allowed to go alone, so I even told my mum that I could catch a flight in the morning and be back in the evening, just so I could visit Prinsengracht and the Museum. You could say I sort of became desperate. I know what it`s like to wait, wait and wait. Sometimes it feels like it`s not going to happen, at least not anytime soon.  You ask yourself when it`s going to be your turn, your time. It`s hard when the timing is wrong or your life circumstances don`t allow you to fulfill your dream right away or anytime soon, but it`s certainly harder when people you care about don`t believe your dream matters or don`t understand how important your dreams are.

When I finally went last week, I couldn`t believe it. I`m thankful for having the opportunity to finally go to the city and see the hiding place. I`m so grateful, you have no idea (thanks Mum, for the money, haha). Looking through the things we bought makes me so happy and makes me think of the time I spent in that wonderful city and in the Achterhuis.

It`s so important to have dreams in your life that make you burn on the inside. That make you feel like you have something to live for. That make you want to keep going. Have those kind of dreams, which motivate and inspire you. It`s even more important to keep on dreaming and not lose faith. You know what they say? Great things take time. Be patient, because things happen at the right place at the right time. Dream of things that mean something to you – that`ll be enough to keep you going. Chase your dreams. Always.

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I WANT TO WRITE A BOOK

I was a little girl when I realised I wasn`t going to live forever. I`m going to die one day, lie in a grave somewhere and be gone. My feet won`t carry my body anymore, and nobody will be able to find me on this earth. There`ll be no blood running inside my body, and I will no longer be able to make the world a better place.

That is, if I leave no pieces of me, no words written by me or no footsteps for the world to see.

I`ve always wanted to write a book. A book about feelings and lived lives. A book which makes people shake their head, which makes them laugh, which makes their stomach ache because they can feel everything so purely. I want people to feel like they`ve gained everything and nothing, when they finish the last page. I want to make people cry, I want people to feel the sadness so much, that the sadness itself makes them want to cry. I want to inspire, I want to touch, I want to leave something. I need to know the day I die, that I? I`ve left something for people to read and to feel. I need to know I`ve been honest with not only myself, but other people, in order to help someone who might believe they`re the only ones encountering something. Who`re in a situation they believe no one else can understand.

So? One day I`ll tell about the 8-year-old girl who didn`t want to sleep and cried at nights because she was too scared to die. I`ll tell about little me, who met her way too old step-grandfather and wondered if his body was going to fall apart if she dared to touch him once. I`ll tell about a little girl in the kindergarten who played with an African little boy most of the time and once put all of her mum`s make-up on her face. I`ll tell about all the times she jumped on the trampoline in her garden and felt like nobody could ever harm her. About the 12-year-old me who came home, furious and sad, because she was tired of being bullied. I`ll tell about a girl at 14 who was told to go and kill herself, by people she considered to be her friends. I`ll tell about a girl at 19, who saw her grandmother dead. I`ll tell about a little girl who found her relatives laughing, when they when asked what she wants to do when she grows up and received “I want to be a author” as an answer.

I`ll tell about the pain and joy behind this smile.

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MY TRIP TO AMSTERDAM – PART 1

I and my mum had been talking about going to Amsterdam for a while. In the end of May everything was final – we were F-I-N-A-L-L-Y going to AMSTERDAM!!  We were going on the Friday 30th June and the plan was to stay there for two days.

On the very day I spent the morning and some of the afternoon packing, preparing myself and dreaming. I had been waiting for years and the time had finally come. I was so excited and couldn`t wait to get out of the house. My mum came home 3.45 PM and got ready. About 40 minutes later we were on our way to the airport and Amsterdam. Our flight was 7.20 PM, which went okay. I was very impatient and couldn`t wait to be on Dutch earth, haha. When we landed, we got our baggage and tried to find out how to get to the hotel. We knew there were shuttle buses that would take us to our hotel, but every country has their system, so finding out didn`t turn out to be that easy. We ended up taking the wrong bus, so we went back to the airport and then actually tried to find the right bus. We did in the end, and when we finally arrived the hotel we were going to stay at past 11 PM, we were so excited. I think (and know) I was the most excited one, haha. I love staying at hotels and every time I`m so excited about what the room looks like. We stayed at “Dorint Airport Hotel” – they had alright service, but the WiFi sucked in our room. At the reception and in the restaurant it worked completely fine, so there must have been a problem with the connection in our room.

Since my camera was in the suitcase (which I booked in), there aren`t any pictures from Friday, but here are some pictures from our hotel room.

IMG_1056 (1).jpgA2IMG_1060IMG_1061IMG_1065I woke up about eight o clock at Saturday, took a shower ( I had to, because I was finally in Amsterdam. I have no idea how many times I`m going to point that out in this post, haha. Okay, back to the post), and then we went down to the restaurant. Breakfast was included, so we ate as much as possible, haha.. My mum was more worried about the food than me. All I wanted was to visit the Anne Frank Huis – I mean, there`s food in Norway too, but no Anne Frank Museum. But I really enjoyed the breakfast too. They had croissants, fruits, yogurt, bread, granola, tea, juice etc. I was expecting croissants, so when we walked in I was like “look, croissants!”, haha.

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We enjoyed a long breakfast, before we headed to.. AMSTERDAM!

IMG_0985 (1)There were people everywhere, but it wasn`t “stressful” – it was as if there was harmony pretty much everywhere. There`s something to do at every corner – a mall, a museum, a bar, a restaurant, a canal. Oslo as a city is barely anything to Amsterdam. I started wondering why people even visit Oslo, haha. In Amsterdam there were tourists everywhere, and the queue at the Anne Frank Musum was and is proof of that. We took the shuttle bus to the airport, caught the train from there and picked up some tickets we had bought online at the GVB Tickets & Info office outside Amsterdam Central Station on the main square.

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When we got the tickets, wee took the tram to “Westermarkt” and my hearted probably skipped a beat when the voice that announced the stations, said that the Anne Frank House can be visited there. I was SO CLOSE, haha. We got off and for a short while we didn`t exactly know where to go. Just as we (= I) found the sign which said “Prinsengracht”, I knew where I was. As we reached the Museum, we got confused. Where were we supposed to stand? And where was the queue? We tried to ask someone, but didn`t get any proper answers and got even more confused. When we thought we had find the end of the line, it turned out it was the beginning… People were like “nope, this is the beginning” and we looked behind them to see how long the line was. There and then it looked like it was never going to end, but we quickly stood in the line. I was prepared to wait for hours. We showed up at 14.15 PM. From 9 AM to 15.30 PM the Museum is only open for visitors with an online ticket for a specific timeslot. The rest of us can only get in after 15.30 PM and have to buy a ticket at the museum entrance. So, we waited and meanwhile, I started talking with this woman next to me. She was from the USA and we talked about life, the USA and Norway and… wait for it: Anne Frank. What a surprise, haha. Suddenly the line started moving and got shorter and shorter – it all happened faster than we imagined it`d be, which was amazing. The American woman must have got tired of me saying “oh, we`re almost there!” all the time..IMG_1096IMG_0984 (3).jpgAround 4.15 PM we got in, so we waited for about two hours, which is nothing at all. The line was veryyyyy long behind us, so I`m glad I showed up “early”, which really wasn`t that early. You`re not allowed to take any pictures inside, but I`m still surprised there are visitors that take pictures with their phones inside. Is that allowed? I don`t know, but if so, I wish I had taken some with my mum`s phone. At the same time I`m glad “time was frozen” when I was inside and that I enjoyed every single bit of my visit there. Anyways – more about that in another post. I`ll tell you more about my visit there and what it was like to finally be standing there. 🙂

My mum went with me, but she didn`t find it as interesting as I and wasn`t as thrilled as me (no wonder why), so she waited for me in the cafe, while I took my time. I spent more than two hours inside, and when I was done, I went down to the bookshop to buy something. The clock was about 7 PM when I got out of there – all amused, happy and so inspired.IMG_0989IMG_0988

We started looking for somewhere to eat. Meanwhile we walked by the beautiful canals and let me just say I wish we had something like that here. It`s crazy how every city is unique and has something of their own, but Amsterdam`s really got something of their own.

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I wanted to eat something I don`t really eat at home, so I told my mum maybe we should go for some thai food, but the restaurant we found didn`t really have anything we liked that much.IMG_1022.jpgSo, we ended up at in Indian restaurant. We had two vegetarian dishes there that tasted good and the woman there (that spoke Urdu and was from Lahore in Pakistan) was very kind to us. We asked here whether there was any bus we could take from there to the airport, as our tickets didn`t include acesss to the trains. She was so helpful and wrote down the information we (thought) we needed, we thanked here, left the restaurant and headed towards Primark, which was our next stop. IMG_1034IMG_1033

Since Primark was closing 9 PM, we didn`t have as much time as we wanted to inside there, but we still managed to buy a lot. When we walked out of there, we noticed the other shops had just closed too. Around Primark there are a lot of other shops, so we decided to visit those the next day. However, we tried to find a bus to the airport, but since we didn`t succeed, we took the train to the airport and the shuttle bus from there. We arrived the hotel about 11 PM (was about to say home. Oh, how I wish that was the case right now!) and went to sleep. That means my mum went to sleep. I wanted to study pretty much everything I had bought, pack my suitcase and then I spent a loooong time trying to sleep. I was way too delighted to want to sleep and I wanted to spend the hours I had left in Amsterdam awake, but in the end I fell asleep.

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Hope you guys liked this! Part 2 is coming at Friday! ♥♥

IT`S ABOUT TIME

I`VE GOT MY PASSPORT! Haha, Thank God. I was so worried, but my mum found it when she came home, as she kind of knew where it was. I could`ve got an emergency passport, but that wouldn`t have been fun. Anywho – I found the passport and everything`s alright, because I`m off to Amsterdam tomorrow. A dream come true, really. Those who really know me, know how fascinated I am of Anne Frank and how I`ve been wanting to visit the country and the city for such a long time. My time has finally come and I`m so happy. 🙂 I hope everyone out there gets the chance to fulfill their dreams, because it really is an amazing feeling. Doesn`t matter what it is – the feeling of being able to do and encounter something you`ve dreamt about, is pure amazing. It boosts your confidence and makes your life better. Never give up, guys. Dreams do come true and this is proof enough. 🙂

passs.jpgI`ve started packing, but haven`t finish as our flight is in the evening. The plan is to wake up early in the morning, finish the packing, do some things I need to do and spend some time getting ready. At this time tomorrow I`ll be on Dutch earth! That`s crazy and kind of unbelieveable, but it`s about time.

 

NEXT FRIDAY

Next Friday at this very time I`ll be on the plane. AH, GUYS! I`m SO excited. I still need to plan out everything, but it`s really a dream come true. I`ve been waiting for so long and all of a sudden my dream became true. Who thought that? 🙂 My brother`s off to Pakistan tomorrow and I and my mum are off to Amsterdam next week. This is for sure going to be the best summer vacation ever! 🙂

Nothing can describe how happy I am, but these gifs kind of describe my happiness… I literally can`t believe it, but I`m so fortunate and happy.

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What have you guys been doing today? I`ve been way too lazy (tell me something I don`t know..) and went out for a while, to do some shopping and get my new sunglasses. I went to get my eyes checked some days ago, and was adviced to get some sunglasses which suits me. So, I did. I`m not a fan of sunglasses as I want to see a colourful world, but today I got myself a new hobby: Staring at people without them knowing I`m staring at them. 😉

Blog ya later!

IT`S A LITTLE MORE SPECIAL THIS YEAR

I wish I was in Amsterdam today, because it`s Anne Frank`s birthday. She would`ve been 88 years old.

You left a diary, which made you world-famous. You expressed your thoughts, feelings and dreams to your friend “Kitty”. Despite the circumstances, you dreamed about a future. You wanted to travel to Paris and London and study history. You loved history. You wanted to be a journalist and/or a writer. Let`s face it – you knew you could die, but you also knew you could survive and live on. Unfortunately you died, but Miep saved your diary and gave it to your lovely dad, whom chose to publish it, despite the criticism he received. So many years later, people still find your diary inspirational and motivational. I found out about you in sixth grade and you`ve been there ever since then.

Thank you for everything you`ve done for me and everyone else. You died too young, but you left your voice, you left a melody that`s still played all over the world. To me, you symbolize love, hope, courage and dreams. Thanks for never giving up and for refusing to die. Happy Birthday, Anne.

Your birthday has always been special to me, but this year it`s a little more special. I can`t wait to see your hiding place and be a little nearer you. 

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IT WAS WORTH THE WAIT

OKAY, GUYS!!!!!!!

I`m going to AMSTERDAM!! Yep, you heard right. After so many years, I`m finally going. AH, I`m SO HAPPY!!! For so long I had to act like nothing. I`ve been waiting for so long, I`ve been quiet for so long, I`ve been shouting for so long, but most of all I`ve been dreaming. All along I`ve known my dreams don`t mean that much to some people around me. But now? Now I`m freaking going to Amsterdam and I`m going to the Anne Frank House.

I`m SO EXCITED! Talk about time, really. After all this year, I`m off to The Netherlands. In 6th grade we were supposed to write a little about every country the school`s students represented. I wrote about the Netherlands. We had a paper for each country, and on it we had some few lines to write about the country, we draw and coloured the map, we marked its location on a little map and draw something that the country is known for. The paper has been with me ever since. Right now it`s on the wall. God knows why. Maybe it was the sign of my dreams.

For as long as I can remember I`ve looked up to Anne Frank, I`ve been inspired by her and I`ve ordered books about her from God-knows-where. So it`s really about time. This is a big thing for me and I`m enchanted. Imagine being where she once used to be.

And let`s not forget that dreams do come true. I`ve been waiting for so long and sometimes it seemed hopeless, but very soon I`ll be on the plane, on my way to Amsterdam and nobody can stop me. Because you know what they say? Great things take time and great things happen at the right time.

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PS: Great news to start this month with! I mean, you-know-who has birthday in June, so… 😉