WHEN A BIG DREAM CAME TRUE

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At this day and at this time last year I was standing inside the Anne Frank Huis. A dream come true, forreal. I had been waiting for years with frustration, sadness, happiness, hope, belief. I knew that I`d get there someday, but I just didn`t know when. So, when my mum told me last year we`re going, I was thrilled. I was beyond excited. It was an amazing experience and it was worth the wait. I made the most out of my visit in the Museum; spent more than two hours there. I was also very excited to finally be in the book shop. I ordered something from there a few years ago, but being there was amazing. Being in Amsterdam was amazing. It was my first time in the country and in the capital and I loved it.

Definitely going back there when I`m off to Netherlands later this year. Can`t wait to be there. Once Again.

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FEELING LIKE THIS FEELS GREAT

A friend of my mum invited me over to her house today and I`m glad I went. I just came back home and I can feel that I`ve had a great time. Feeling that feels great.

She met me when I was still a kid, and now more than ten years have passed. I met her daughter when she was little, and now she`s almost an adult. Time`s something I never will understand. I won`t exactly call this family my friends, but when I`m there I always have a great time. I had such a great time today too. We played on their xbox, played ludo and some card games and watched a little TV. Harry Potter never gets old, I`m telling you. Afterwards I and her daughter were in her room, I straightened her hair, she straightened mine and meanwhile we talked about… hair, make-up, life, what it`s like fainting and just life, haha. Time went by so fast and all of a sudden I had spent several hours there. This friend of my mum even had cooked a vegetarian dish for me, just in case I didn`t want to eat meat. How kind, it`s nice to see people actually think about you and make the extra effort. We talked a little about why I ended up eating less meat and also about the fashion industry. I wish more people thought about those industries and where our clothes and food actually come from, but like I said: it`s about perspective and people should respect mine. The response I got back was “wow, you`re so young but already have thought about this. That`s great”. That`s perhaps one of the things I get to hear that make me feel proud. Bilderesultat for it`s been a good day tumblr

A very nice end to this weekend. Remember that, guys. It`s hard for me too, but we all deserve to feel this way. We all deserve to feel like we are spending our time with people that make us feel well, not people that try to bring us down.

THINGS I`M LOOKING FORWARD TO

❤️ The final preparations before my mum is off to Pakistan. I find the whole process quite exciting, and while helping I start daydreaming about a trip to Amsterdam of Prague, haha…

❤️ It`s going to be fun to see how especially I and my brother are going to cope while my mum is away! I wonder how the chores and the cooking will go. It`s so weird how we get used to my mum not being around. Last time she was in Pakistan in September 2016, I felt what it`s like to spend some time in the kitchen pretty much every day and cook for someone else. Also, I found myself sitting on the train on my way home thinking “what should I cook for dinner tonight?” Typical housewife thoughts, I`m telling you. This time I want to do some baking and try to make some “chappatis” too. Excited about that!

❤️ Sandra is coming over next week, for the first time. The past year we`ve met sometimes. Last time I was at her house and now it`s her time to visit me.

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❤️ Doesn`t necessarily need to be “big things”, little things matter too, as well. So, I`m looking forward to reading some of the books I borrowed a long time ago, but still haven`t read.

❤️ Easter holiday, which is already beginning on Thursday for me. HERE I COME! 😎 I have a lot of studying to do as my first exam is in the beginning of May, but holiday is holiday. Of course I`m going to chill too.

❤️ Do Maastricht-preparations. I told you that the process has began, which meant that I received an e-mail from my exchange-coordinator in which he said that he`s sending a “nomination” to the university I`m going to, which is Maastricht University. “Nomination” basically means sending over information about the students, so my university is letting Maastricht University know how many students there are that are going to study there. I haven`t heard anything from the coordinator or the university, so I`m getting a liiiiittle impatient. Hopefully I`ll get some news and information before Easter!

 

LIFE HAPPENS

IMG_0968 (1) (1).jpgThought I`d end this evening with a picture from when I was in Amsterdam. Yeah, The Netherlands seems to be all I`m thinking about these days, but that`s how it is when you`ve been dreaming about something for years and then more than what you dreamt of, comes true. Being in Amsterdam seemed like a dream, I couldn`t believe it last July when I was standing only a few meters away from the Anne Frank Museum and could hear the bells ring. Anne used to find them peaceful, I found them peaceful too. Never give up. You never know where you`re going to be in one year`s time or even tomorrow. Life takes you to places you`ve never been. Sometimes that hurts, but sometimes it also does me good. Just like now. 

IT`S OFFICIAL!

It`s official now.. THIS GIRL IS OFF TO STUDY IN THE NETHERLANDS THIS AUTUMN!

Ahhh, guys!! I don`t even know where to begin. Sure, I did put India at the top when I applied, but I`m happy I got in somewhere and I`m satisifed with getting the opportunity to study and live in the Netherlands for a few months. I said yes to the offer today, after a meeting for everyone else on my faculty who also got an offer. I also got to know who`s going to be my exchange coordinator. Remember when I had a councelor meeting before the deadline and I mentioned how helpful the guy was? He`s going to be my coordinator, which I`m happy about! There are quite a lot of things to do and plan now, but thankfully there`s going to be a coordinator who`s going to guide us through most of the process and answer our questions. 🙂

Thank you for all the well wishes and the advices, by the way. I appreciate your kindness and support, and I can`t wait to see what this new chapter holds for me. //photo: source

 

SHOULD I LAUGH OR CRY OR DO BOTH

I`m going to try and explain this as good as I can: so, I could apply for 3 exchange agreements on each faculty and 3 UiO (University in Oslo) agreements. On my list I had 12 agreements (basically most schools don`t have school fees, but some also have that so I had to write down some agreements twice). 5 of these agreements were UiO-agreements and apparentely, I`m not qualified for any of the universities I applied in India. I`m a little disappointed about that, to be honest, because after all I put India on the top. BUT it turns out that the mail I received yesterday, was talking about the UiO-agreements!! I didn`t know whether to laugh or cry when the woman in the office told me that, I got SO relieved. She also said that it looks like I`ve gotten an admission in the Netherlands, but I still don`t really know as I`ll get to know that tomorrow and on Friday (like I told you before).

AHHH, guys! I`m so happy. I wish I could go to India, but I`m happy as long as I get to go anywhere. Also, I`m still considering complaining, because it turns out that one of the agreements I applied for didn`t have any expectations when it comes to the grades and when I mentioned that to a woman today through e-mail she said “sorry, that information isn`t updated”. But isn`t that kind of stupid, considering that those of us who have applied, applied according to the information we found on the website? I mean, this is the university`s fault. Well well, we`ll see what happens about that. 🙂

I`m excited about tomorrow and Friday, because I`ll get to know where I`ve got in. I`m a little worried, because it turns out I applied for Maastricht first and not Amsterdam… God knows what I was thinking, but like someone of you said: God works it all out. 

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THEY SAY THAT GREAT THINGS TAKE TIME

I`m not popular, nor do I have many friends.

As a child I didn`t really have any friends. There and then I did I have people I could hang out with, but now I`ve realised they weren`t actually my friends. None of them stayed – some “faded away”, while others abandoned me. I was little, didn`t understand as much as I do now and didn`t really stand up for myself. In high-school I had many days where I felt lonely. For a long time, I didn`t really feel like anyone tried to listen to me or saw me who I am.

But, during my second year in high-school I got to know two girls, Sara and Thea. It started with me sitting with them. Slowly we started talking more and more and during third year I visited them and they visited me. I remember I once told them “I don`t trust you, it`s going to take a while for me” and they were like “well, just know that we trust you.” Some words can mean so much to you. They didn`t go all like “oh, why don`t you trust us, don`t you consider us your friends?”. They didn`t judge me, instead they gave me time and kept being the kind human beings they are. That meant and still means so much to me. I know that I could literally do anything to them, and they would still be kind to me. Thea is still here in Norway, while Sara is in Australia. She`s going to stay there for a couple of months and of course I miss her. I think it`s easy to think you`re going to drift apart when the distance is so huge, but I know we`re going to work it out and that missing each other will do us. Besides, Thea is still here!

Some days ago, Sara messaged me. “I just want to remind you of how fantastic, strong and cool you are, and I miss you.” Those words touched my heart and made me emotional (I`m perhaps the most emotional person on this earth).

I remember how I sometimes used to think before that the pain was never going to end. It seemed like the times I was going through at that time, was a phase I had to walk through forever. Many of us feel that way – it can feel like a never ending roller-coaster. You ask yourself “why me”. At that time I didn`t understand why people were being mean to me and making fun of me either. To be honest. sometimes I even found myself thinking “am I not cool enough or beautiful enough for people?” It feels like I wasn`t  popular or fabulous enough for most people, because after all, I didn`t really have that many to hang out with.

I still don`t have that many to hang out with, but you know what? I might have few friends, but the ones I have are fantastic. That`s good enough for me, because at least I`m cool enough, beautiful enough and fabulous enough for them. And that`s all that should matter.

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//Photo: here