SHOULD I LAUGH OR CRY OR DO BOTH

I`m going to try and explain this as good as I can: so, I could apply for 3 exchange agreements on each faculty and 3 UiO (University in Oslo) agreements. On my list I had 12 agreements (basically most schools don`t have school fees, but some also have that so I had to write down some agreements twice). 5 of these agreements were UiO-agreements and apparentely, I`m not qualified for any of the universities I applied in India. I`m a little disappointed about that, to be honest, because after all I put India on the top. BUT it turns out that the mail I received yesterday, was talking about the UiO-agreements!! I didn`t know whether to laugh or cry when the woman in the office told me that, I got SO relieved. She also said that it looks like I`ve gotten an admission in the Netherlands, but I still don`t really know as I`ll get to know that tomorrow and on Friday (like I told you before).

AHHH, guys! I`m so happy. I wish I could go to India, but I`m happy as long as I get to go anywhere. Also, I`m still considering complaining, because it turns out that one of the agreements I applied for didn`t have any expectations when it comes to the grades and when I mentioned that to a woman today through e-mail she said “sorry, that information isn`t updated”. But isn`t that kind of stupid, considering that those of us who have applied, applied according to the information we found on the website? I mean, this is the university`s fault. Well well, we`ll see what happens about that. 🙂

I`m excited about tomorrow and Friday, because I`ll get to know where I`ve got in. I`m a little worried, because it turns out I applied for Maastricht first and not Amsterdam… God knows what I was thinking, but like someone of you said: God works it all out. 

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I WONDER WHO`S GOING TO SAY SORRY TO ME

 

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When somebody asks you how your weekend has been and you shrug and smile while saying “actually very good, got a lot of schoolwork done”, when the truth is you didn`t do much because you spent most of the time staring at the roof and and being sad.

When you`re not really doing good, but your smiling to the world. The facade isn`t allowed to crack, doesn`t matter if you have to use hundreds of different masks.

When you`re treated like shit by someone who only uses you and you let it go on because all the good things they do, justifies it.

When you give as much as you can to someone who doesn`t appreciate you as much as you value them. Who doesn`t care that much about you.

The conscience tries to eat me up every time I do something I nevertheless shouldn`t have done. Every time I say something I maybe shouldn`t have said. It tries to eat me up even when I`m not the one to blame, but perhaps it doesn`t know better.

I try to apologize when I`ve hurted someone, but I have to admit that I wonder who`s going to apologize to me.

IT`S A LITTLE MORE SPECIAL THIS YEAR

I wish I was in Amsterdam today, because it`s Anne Frank`s birthday. She would`ve been 88 years old.

You left a diary, which made you world-famous. You expressed your thoughts, feelings and dreams to your friend “Kitty”. Despite the circumstances, you dreamed about a future. You wanted to travel to Paris and London and study history. You loved history. You wanted to be a journalist and/or a writer. Let`s face it – you knew you could die, but you also knew you could survive and live on. Unfortunately you died, but Miep saved your diary and gave it to your lovely dad, whom chose to publish it, despite the criticism he received. So many years later, people still find your diary inspirational and motivational. I found out about you in sixth grade and you`ve been there ever since then.

Thank you for everything you`ve done for me and everyone else. You died too young, but you left your voice, you left a melody that`s still played all over the world. To me, you symbolize love, hope, courage and dreams. Thanks for never giving up and for refusing to die. Happy Birthday, Anne.

Your birthday has always been special to me, but this year it`s a little more special. I can`t wait to see your hiding place and be a little nearer you. 

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