NEVER FORGET

We must never forget history and everything people before us went through.

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#QUOTES2

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♥ Your faith has to be greater than your fear.

♥ Life becomes more meaningful when you realise the simple fact that you`ll never get the same moment twice.

♥ Real men don`t love the most beautiful girl in the world, they love the girl who can make their world the most beautiful.

♥ Don`t count the days. Make the days count.

♥ Do not compare yourself to others.

♥ Life doesn`t have to be perfect to be wonderful.

♥ The more you care the more you have to lose.

♥ Beauty attracts the eye, but personality captures the heart.

♥ We don`t lose friends, we just find out who our real ones are.

 

I FOUND MYSELF AGAIN

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Last week I finished a book, which was written by a woman who survived the Second World War, along with her sister (she was born in 1944) and her parents. More about the book later. When I finished it, I was reminded of my passion, if you can call it that, about the war and the Holocaust. About what happened to Jews at that time, about the evilness that surrounded so much of the world at that time. I was reminded of Anne Frank, a young girl, whom unfortunately died in the conzentration camp Bergen-Belsen in 1945, that I`ve been looking up to for several years. She`s inspired me, she`s given me so much courage and she has made me realise and understand so many things that I don`t know where to begin.

Anne Frank also lost her grandmother. She died when Anne was 12, due to cancer. My grandmother also died due to cancer. I think that when someone you`re inspired by and look up to, no matter who it is, and that person has encountered the exact same as you (with different circumstances, of course), you find comfort and trust in knowing that. Anne Frank wrote in her diary that she never really got to tell her how much she loved her. I feel the same about my own grandmother, therefore it`s so amazing that I can seek relief, gratification and satisfication in her situation and in her diary. To me, Anne`s a symbol for hope and inspiration. Imagine that she looked upon her situation as a “fairytale”, despite the circumstances. The Second World War was going on around her, people were dying in the camps and there was so much evilness. Yet she managed to keep her head up and she never lost faith in her dreams and passion. That, guys. THAT is inspiring and there`s so much we can learn from a little woman like Anne Frank, whom died too soon. Many criticize people for romantizing Anne`s story. There`s no doubt her life ended in a tragedy – a tragedy that we need to prevent from happening again. But, I believe many don`t find most of her life that tragic – I can only recommend you (if you already haven`t), to read her diary. She was so hopeful about life, she had so many dreams and wishes for herself and she knew who she was. She was so young and had such a talent – she`s one of the very few that talented young authors in the world. She died, but her spirit refused to die and that`s what I believe many people find so sad and tragic, and yet beautiful. I know I do. She died so many years ago and there are people now who`re inspired by her, who consider her a hero, who visit Prinsengracht 263 just to see where she and 7 other people hid during the war and there are several people that have written to her dad. If people found nothing beautiful and great about her story, they wouldn`t have written to her father, while he was alive. She died, but her voice never died. The music inside her heart never died.

I found courage in her story and diary again. I`ve been reading about Holocaust and especially Anne for some days and I can`t get enough. I don`t know if you know this, but I found her diary several years ago, when I was in 6th grade and I was so amazed. I still am amazed. I also read Mona`s story, and I realised how there was so much brutality around them. I`ve read other diaries from the war too as well, and they`re so brutal but it`s not like you`re crying all along. You get amazed too. How people were able to keep their heads up. These diaries and other documents are life-affirming records of their spirits and hopes in the face of cruelty and danger.

Reading about Holocaust and how so many people were able to be optimistic, made me realise that I can do it too. It made me realise that I`m stronger than I think I am and that if Anne can, I can too. If another woman can, why can`t I? I found comfort in her and that`s why I`m doing so much better. I needed my time, but now it feels like I never died. I feel like I kind of locked myself inside a cage and without knowing, someone opened up the door and now I`m flying again. I feel so much better already. I had to work with myself and I`m glad I gave myself time, but this only proves you never know what`s going to happen tomorrow.

This doesn`t mean I`m never going to cry about what happened with my grandmother. I still miss her so much and I wonder what actually happened, even though I was there all along. But, someone else has been where I am now and she did fine. I`ll do fine too. If a person, during a World War, during such inhumane times can find hope and be so faithful, I can too. After such a long time I feel like “myself” again and I feel so inspired to grasp life and find out what it holds for me.

Thank you, Annelies Mary Frank. Thanks to all the heroes from the war that inspire me and thousands of people out there every day. You might be dead, but your voices refused to die.

IT`LL GET EASIER BUT NOT TODAY

Happy New Year to my readers! What a year 2016 was. To me 2016 was alright, till October. The first months I spent at Nannestad. In June I graduated and I joined university in august. I had a very great start – spent much time with new people. I feel like I didn`t focus as much as I should on my studies from October of, because of my grandmother. I planned my days according to her, and perhaps that`s why I was in shock when my mum told me she`s dead.

We did so much for her. My aunt made food for her almost every single day, as my grandmother didn`t really like the food at the hospital. Sometimes she also brought with her clothes. I visited her as much as I could – which wasn`t good enough, because I wish I had spent every hour I could with her. My uncles, my dad, my grandmother, my brother and my cousins visited her. The whole process was hard and especially in the end I felt like we were all trying to make her survive. Whenever the nurses came by to ask if my grandmother would like some food, I thought “They`re trying so hard just for her to survive, not live.” Maybe I thought that way because I deep inside knew the end was to come. Or maybe because my grandmother way too often said “no” to the nurses, who`d usually smile, close the door and visit the next pasient. My family and the nurses did so much and yet she left us. I feel like we tried so hard for nothing.

Something that bugs me even more, is how quiet my grandmother was. She would lie in bed for hours, without saying anything. She didn`t say anything. She didn`t really talk about her feelings, and none of us really knew whether she was afraid or not. We didn`t really know if she was satisfied with her life or if she knew she was close to the end. I wonder if she was scared of death, like me. She cried only once or twice. When she got to know she had cancer, she cried and said “what has happened to me?” Afterwards it was as if she had been used to the disease. I`m aware that sounds so harsh, but that`s how it kind of looked like, as she didn`t talk about it 2-3 weeks before she died. She didn`t really talk about her condition or herself. She used to ask about me, about my parents, about school. I wonder if she knew she was going to die. Maybe that`s why she was so quiet. My grandmother used to be so chatty – that changed dramatically. None of us had ever seen her that quiet.

“Grandmother, tell me something.” “Daughter, what do I tell you? You tell me something.”large-63

Almost two years ago, my uncle died. It`s not unusual for us human beings to believe it`s the end of the world. I thought it was the end when my uncle died and I thought I`d never be fine again. But I did. Like usually, I have no idea how I do things after a while. I have no idea how I managed to survive it and keep going. Now as my grandmother`s dead, I don`t know how I`m going to keep going. I don`t know how I`m going to talk normally with the other students. “Yeah, my grandmother died, but apart from that my holiday was fantastic.” I don`t know how to focus 100 % on my life and until perhaps yesterday I didn`t know how to get over this.

I`m going to take my time with this. Why am I in such a hurry? I`m going to let time help me. I`m going to cry as much as I want to and I`m going to think about all this and so much more whenever I want to. After all, I`ve lost my grandmother and it`s going to take some time to get on with life. I spent so many years with her and I cared (and still care) so much about her. I never thought this was going to happen so early, but unfortunately it has and even though it feels like the end of the world now, I know I`ll be fine one day.

“It will get easier and easier somehow, but not today.”

SOME OF MY FAVOURITE QUOTES

As you perhaps already know, I love quotes. They inspire me and I have my own notebook where I write down dialogues, words, sentences and expressions that I find motivating and nice. I thought I`d share some of them with you guys from now on. Hope you like it. 🙂


♥ You`ve gotta dance like there`s nobody watching, love like you`ll never be hurt, sing like there`s nobody listening and live like it`s Heaven on earth.

♥ Everything happens for a reason.

♥ You`re somebody`s reason to smile.

♥ Every day might not be good, but there`s something good in every day.

♥ Some people need a high five in the face with a metal chair!

♥ We`ve all got both light and darkness inside us. What matters is the part we choose to act on. That`s who we really are.

♥ Happiness can be found, even in the darkest of times, if one only remembers to turn on the light.

♥ Of course it`s happening in your head, Harry, but why on earth should that mean it`s not real?

♥ It`s the unknown we fear when we look upon death and darkness, nothing more.

♥ It`s our choices, that show what we truly are far more than our abilities.

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I WANT TO INSPIRE PEOPLE

“Maybe it`s YOU who need to change and try to get to know people a little more, instead of complaining about them on your blog.”

I`ve heard people say this a million times. It`s making me tired.

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First of all, why do I need to change? It`s not like I`m one of those people that just don`t care about people around me. I don`t spread rumors, I don`t back-stab people. Nor am I bullying anyone. The problem here is that I`m not like everyone else and I`m not sorry for saying this, but I`m not exactly going to do anything about that “problem”.

I don`t expect the whole world to be my friend. I don`t expect my classmates to be my friends. Frankly, I got rid of that idea during the first year. But, everyone can be nice and everyone ought to be nice. It`s nice to be nice and if people can`t be nice, we have a real serious problem. This is serious because people aren`t allowed to be who they are, without being told to change and become someone else. I`ve tried to get to know people. I`ve given up now on that and what matters to me now is kindness. What so if my classmates don`t really care about me the same way? I`m always going to be nice.

About this blog – I love sharing my thoughts, my experiences and opinions with you guys. I`ve been sharing what`s going on with me in school and how I`m treated because it`s important to do that. It won`t help anyone if I`m silent about it. And now you might say it`s not going to help anyone if I`m open about it either, but hey, unlike you I`m trying to make a difference here. I want to inspire you guys to keep going on. To raise your voice about issues and topics that need to be talked about. I want to show you guys that it`s possible to stand up and get going even when the going gets tough. It was nice to let it out last night, but I also hope you were inspired to make your very own decisions and not let anyone stop you. There will always be people along the way who will try to put you down, complain about your success and be jealous because you are who you are. I want to tell people it`s almost impossible to please everyone, so just focus on the road and keep doing your thing.

I`ll quote an amazing women I look up to in the end: Someday when you get where you`re going, you`ll look around you and know it was you and the people who love you who put you there. That`ll be the greatest feeling in the world.