Yesterday evening I watched the documentary about Avicii and it was worth spending two hours on it.

Honestly, I have more questions now than I had before I watched the documentary. I feel different now about his journey, now that he`s dead. Now that I know he`s dead and that he`s never going to sit in the studio and produce some good vibes. In 2016 he had his last show and actually took the time to rest and do what he loved, which was making music.

The documentary shows Tim`s career – how it all started, what happened on the way to success and why he retired. It also shows you how some of his most famous songs were made and you get to know more about the branch and music industry in general. Very interesting to see how a young guy gets more and more successful and it was even more interesting due to the fact that the scene wasn`t really for him. It didn`t make him happy, but he kept pushing himself. The stress of the life on road led to multiple hospitalizations and eventually to retiring. It`s also sad to see how he wasn`t getting as much support from the people around him as he thought he was going to, when it came to how he was feeling and his decision about cancelling several shows.

Bilderesultat for avicii true storiesAt one point in the documentary, Avicii said to an interviewer: “People’s perception of who Avicii is isn’t who Tim is. I don’t really like being the centre of attention.” The interviewer said “but you are!”, while laughing a little. Hearing that made me sad, because there`s so much to that, that`s true. People saw Avicii – not Tim. He was in the centre of attention, but didn`t really like it. He had a 8 months long break in 2014 and 2015, came back, it got too much and then retired. I find it inspiring how the movie shows that Tim ended up making a decision for his own good, even though not everyone around him was happy about that.

The questions I`m now sitting with, are… didn`t things get better for him, in the long run? How was he doing after deciding to retire? It`d be interesting to get some answers, but I don`t think that I need to get some answers. I just hope he`s doing better up there and that this never happens to someone again. The music industry needs to see humans for what they are and not think of them as money making machines. Mental health comes first, no matter who you are.

I hope you watch the documentary – if you do, let me know what you think! If you don`t have Netflix, you can watch it HERE (link). What an amazing artist and a humble person. I hope this can be a wake-up call for more people out there. We need to take care of each other and listen to each other more. And most importantly; we need to understand that at the end of the day, we`re all human beings looking for happiness. Relatert bilde

//photos taken from here & here






“The question isn`t what you`ve been through, but what you`ve done with what you`ve been through.” 

I found this on the back cover of a book written by Helga (the founder of “Aktive Fredsreiser”, which we travelled Poland, Germany and Czech Republic back in 2012)). The words got to me. I don`t necessarily believe it`s not about what you`ve experienced, because what really matters is how you handle the situations that come your way. And perhaps that`s what these words are trying to say to us.

Life can be difficult and life will be difficult. You`re going to fall on your knees at least once, if not several times. You`re going to cry and feel like nothing`s ever going to be the same again. THAT`S OKAY. It`s sort of weird to think of how I used to be there once. I had my moments where I asked myself “is this ever going to end?” Not to forget when my grandmother died. That`s one of the times in life I`ve really fell down. I was down for quite a while and didn`t really understand much. Not that I understand more now, but at least life has moved on and somehow I just learned to live with the pain. The pain still hurts, but it just doesn`t hurt that much all the time, I guess.

I believe it`s important to think about what you`re doing with everything you`ve been through. Don`t let the bad and traumatic things you`ve been through, take over you and define your life in a negative way. Instead, accept your war because it is what it is. I remember I read that in a book some years ago. You can turn pretty much any situation over to something positive. You can use it to strenghten yourself, to inspire others, to do something creative in life. Start an organisation or an union, or travel around and arrange speeches. Write a book, share your experiences. And if you don`t want to talk about it, at least help yourself. We can learn something from everything in life and from here you can decide to only get stronger.

It`s okay to fall, as long as we do rise up.


Some time ago Suze nominated me for Liebster Award. I don`t do awards, but I like many of the questions I`m asked so I thought I`d do it as a “get-to-know-me-better” post. 🙂 Thanks to Suze, by the way. I really appreciate it. Nice to know someone out there finds my blog amazing and worthy of praise.


Where do you get your ideas?

From life, people and dreams. I`m so glad my mind is not see through.

What is your writing process like?

Haha, so ..I dream. And then I really mean a lot. To me, they`re inspiration. I write a lot for myself which I don`t share with anyone. It depends on what I`m writing, but mostly I prefer to just write. It`s a little harder when I write by hand as I want it to be written neatly. I let my mind drift away and write everything down without any filters. I think that if you keep going back and checking what you write, it`s easy to get stuck. Grasp the things around you with silence and try to make something out of them by words.

Do you think someone could be a writer if they don’t feel emotions strongly?

Of course. Not everybody feels emotions so strongly, but that doesn`t mean they don`t have anything they`d like to share.

What one thing would you give up to become a better writer?

The voice inside my head which isn`t fearless and tells me to stop.

What is your favorite childhood book?

You mean my favourite book of all times? The diary of Anne Frank. Never gets old for me and never will either.

How does your writing relate to your spiritual practice or other life path?

I consider myself a Muslim, but I seperate that from my writing. For me, writing is more about emotions.

What inspires you?

I inspire myself. Apart from that life does. If I was to mention a person that`s inspired me for years and keeps inspiring me, it`s Anne Frank.

Describe yourself as if someone is interviewing you.

I find such questions so hard, even though I`m supposed to talk about myself and that should perhaps be an easy task but I`m always like “where do I even begin?”. And doesn`t it depend on who`s interviewing you? Not sure I would say this if we`re talking about a job interview, but I`ll just write down what I`ve written on my “about me” page:

I`m a passionate girl, with a lot of hopes and dreams. I used to be a thinker, now I`m an over-thinker. I`m a dreamer. I dream a lot, doesn`t matter if it`s day or night. I`m a writer. I`m a daughter. I`m vulnerable. Kind. Strong. Weak. Mature. Immature. Visible. Invisible. Fragile. Beautiful. Mess.

Most of all I`m an old soul in a young body.

Where do you see yourself in ten years?

Oh, God… I don`t know. I hope I`m an author by then and that I`m happy with what my life`s like at that time.

What was the worst book you ever read, or stopped reading?

I don`t really have a “worst book I`ve ever read”. Sure, there have been books that I didn`t like that much but I usually try to finish them because I`d like to believe you can learn something from everything.



This book is something I picked up at the library when I needed to read some books with “girl-power”. This one definitely has that! Malala Yousafzai spoke for girls right to go to school before she got shot, which happened because of that and that she didn`t follow the rules the Taliban regime had made for the people in Swat. Even though she almost visited death, Malala kept fighting and wasn`t scared. It`s incredibly inspiring to read about how much impact a girl who`s 20 years old can have. I mean, she`s at my age. The people who believe youngsters can`t have much of an impact on this world, ought to have a look at Malala and her story. I like how Malala isn`t “obsessed” about fame, and still looks shy and is who she`s always been at interviews and red carpets.

Not only did I get to know more about the Nobel Peace Prize winner, but I also got to know more about what it was like and what it still can be like for women and girls to live in Pakistan. Many girls aren`t allowed to go to school, and when they get married they don`t really have the right to make their own decisions. Not really that much of news for me, but it was “nice” to get that information from someone who`ve lived inside the society. IMG_2220 (1)

I read the version for the kids and the youngsters, but I believe it`s not that different from the other version. I really recommend this book, mainly because it`s the voice of one girl who, even though so many tried to silence her, didn`t mute her voice but spoke even louder for girls` right to education. Because it shows you how much one voice can do.



Something I`ve put on my wall.

It`s easy to think that being kind and soft are two not that powerful characteristics, especially when most people take them for granted. When the world can be hard and cold. But honey, “be like water, flowing so beautifully and effortlessly, washing away all that is bad.” Be soft but strong, and you`ll be the one still standing. 


“I am bound by the chains of traditions

And the interpretations of my dreams keep me awake”


Yesterday the last episode of “Baaghi” aired. Qandeel Baloch was killed by her brother. God, how do I explain the scene. How do I explain how brutal it was to see her brother strangle her. It`s just a serial, but it`s not really “just” a serial. I knew the last episode was going to be hard for me, but this hard? I don`t even know. And the worst part of it all is knowing it`s based on a true story. It`s knowing this happened to Qandeel Baloch. Not only her – it`s happened and will unfortunately happen to many other girls and boys. I`m thankful about my cousin introducing it to me and I`m glad I kept watching it when I got back home, because like I just said, it`s not “just a serial”. It`s a wake-up call, it`s an eye-opener, it`s truth, it`s reality. It`s what happens to hundreds of girls not only in Pakistan but in other countries, as well. It`s the story of a woman who dared to defy the society and paid the price. Like someone on Twitter wrote: “Here was a woman; she could have been anyone of us, a woman with dreams in her eyes. Her fault was to continue flying with her hopes when the world tried to shoot them down. Her flaw was to trust the people around her, even when they had done nothing to deserve that trust.”

I wish people at least had took into account that she too was a human beings with a heart and her own feelings. I wish people had took into account that she too went to bed every night with her mind. I wish people tried to understand that people do the things the do for many reasons and most of all, I wish we had tried to realise that she? She was just a human being too.


Also, I need to say something about the character Osman Khalid Butt did. I hope every girl meets a guy like Shehryar. He`s not the perfect, but because he respects a woman no matter what. He saw Qandeel (or Fozia, if you prefer using that name) for who she was. He didn`t judge her, instead he saw how lovely and caring she was. He waited for her for five years. All along he was always there for her, cheering and supporting her. While the world was judging her and speaking negatively about her, he really saw her heart. Qandeel wasn`t perfect either, but she was a human being who like everyone else, deserved to be happy. She found happiness in Shehryar and Shehryar found his happiness in her. He was one person who was lonely, then he found happiness in form of Qandeel and she was snatched away from him just before their wedding. The moment he got to know about her death was heartbreaking. The scene in which he puts 24 red roses on her grave made me so emotional. Not only did he respect her wishes and dreams while she was alive, he respected them even when she was dead. Qandeel Baloch needed that, but almost just as she found love, death found her too. Because she was a shame, because she was ruining the family`s honour. Because she was living a life many people thought was disgraceful and immoral. Because of her clothes, because of her actions. Because it didn`t suit a girl to “lose control”.

“o my beloved

may I not become a rebel”


“Baaghi” is truly depicting behavior of our society towards woman. This drama portrays the issues that the typical female has been inflicted by : the burden of double standards — hypocrisy and manipulative coercion. It also portrays the issue with so called honour and shame cultures. So many have opened up their eyes and are now praying for her. That makes me happy, but I hope people are feeling sorry for her not only because she was killed. That`s only the end of the story. I hope more people realised how destructive negative social control can be and how a lot of women all over the world are being silenced. I hope people understand that they have no right to be judgmental towards other human beings. You never know what someone`s going through what their story is and how many tears they`re fighting back. I hope more people realise the power of women and that women too deserve to be happy, educate themselves, make a career of their own and make their own decisions. I also hope people realise that the hate towards Qandeel was wrong. Yeah, you might not agree with everything she did, but that`s not the point. Nobody has the right to hate on anyone who`s not living life the way you want them too. Imagine if everyone was to live their lives according to what everyone else wanted them to do – what a sad world we would`ve lived in.

I hope Qandeel rests in peace. I`m deeply sorry about what happened to her and I hope she knows she deserved better. Who cares about honour if this is what honour is. I highly recommend “Baaghi”. It’s the story life of  a young controversial social media star who was killed by her own brother, in the name of so called “honor killing”. The acting is amazing, everyone did such a fantastic job. I`m speechless. This sensitive drama serial has inspired me so much and has truly changed my life. I hope you (if you can) watch it and I hope it changes something in your life too.