I don`t know, but it`s as if I`ve ended up on a sort of sad road the past few days. I`ve been thinking a lot about Tim Bergling, and the latest news about his sudden death has made me think more about it.
I`m not a person who`s able to think that death isn`t a sad thing. I hope Tim is in a better place right now and that he`s making music somewhere up there without feeling the pressure, but I`m sad about what happened because I wish he was alive right now and felt love and support. I wasn`t a blood fan of Avicii, but I listened to his songs a few years ago. What makes me so sad are the circumstances, everything he must have been feeling considering his documentary which came out last year and the fact that he was 28 years old. He was still young and supposed to live life. He was supposed to be here, among us. I read a comment on Instagram earlier which said something along the lines of “now we have the memories”. That word made me so sad. “Memories”. That`s way too true. People who went to some of his concerts only have photos, videos and the flashbacks in their minds as memories. It must be weird to have been on one of his concerts and now know you`re never ever going to get that possibility now. It must be weird to know that the person who was standing in front of you, rocking the music industry and making you feel so much, now is dead. One week has passed and this is still unbelieveable.
Sometimes when things like this happen, I “stop”, breathe and do a lot of thinking. Perhaps it drives me crazy, but I`ve been struggling with questions about life, people and death for quite some time now. I`m used to it. It`s nothing really that bad, it`s just my mind. I don`t understand death, I don`t know what it is. It`s weird and sad to think about how we`re born and how we all do things, when we know we`re going to die. Is that why we`re doing so much? Some people want to be rich, get a big house and become famous as if they`re going to stay here forever. Life`s not forever – that`s a scary thought. But people around me make it seem like it`s forever, when they take life and people for granted.
I wish I didn`t have any exams to revise for. I`d rather write down my thoughts about death, than about Malinowski. Ooooor when I think about it – perhaps not. The examinator would probably start wondering what`s up with me.