ALL THESE EXPECTATIONS

OKAY, so I`ve been thinking about this for a while and I think it`s about time I write this.

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I`m a buddy this week. For those who don`t know what a buddy is, it`s an experienced students, who help new students. I`m a buddy for some of the international students. We have a schedule pretty much every day this week and I LOVE meeting and getting to know new people. It`s even more fun when they`re from different countries and have been living their lives there.

At evenings there are parties and I`m not saying that`s necessarily a bad thing. I`m not a party-person at all – I prefer a “cleaner” party, if that makes any sense? Alcohol-free parties. Therefore I feel like many people expect you to have a drink or two, whenever there`s a party. I don`t know about other countries, but here in Norway it`s so normal to grab a beer or two from the shops and bring them with you to the party and even to the park, if that`s where it`s all happening. Of course I`m going to let other people drink (even though I`m not any fond of alcohol), but why these expectations? I don`t feel pressurized, it`s just these expectations that are annoying. I`ve also encountered that some think of people who prefer to socialize without alcohol, as silly and weird. Or if you say no to a party, you`re a “party-bumper”. You`re not a fun person to hang out with. WHY`S THAT? Why these social norms and rules? I might be wrong and to be honest, I hope I am, but I experienced the same last year. I just wish these norms and expectations didn`t exist, and that it was completely okay to not be a party-person and to not drink alcohol. So many believe that we have to expect questions about why we choose to stay away from alcohol – why isn`t it the opposite?

Thank God there`s not going to be a party tonight – as far as I know, at least. We`re actually going on a Norwegian hike today, which I`m excited about. Norwegian nature is so beautiful and does me so good. I know today`s going to be a better day.

“HITLER WAS RIGHT”

Writing this post is very hard for me, as this is something I`m very “passionate” about. I need to write this. I care very much about people and I know what it`s like to be called things on the internet. Nevertheless I`ve barely been through any of that, compared to the Norwegian blogger Sophie Elise and many other people. At Friday she released a new song called “All your friends” and on Sunday the music video was released. (You can watch it HERE.) You can dislike her music, the language and you can dislike the music video. After all everyone has their own sense of music, but what happened afterwards was way too tragic. People commented a lot of rasistic and dehumanizing comments, and if you believe it`s “no big deal”, then read these comments. These are only some of many hundreds. (Youtube has deactivated the comment section. It got that bad).

“race mixers will be the first in line in the day of the rope”
“f*** your degenerate race mixing propaganda”
“why would you touch a monkey”
“Why are Scandi women so intent on throwing away and destroying their genes? No more blonde hair, no more blue eyes. Just brown skinned, brown haired, brown eyed mixed African children, is this what these women want?”
“You’re a filthy slut, and your jew producer trying to support race mixing, it’s clearly racist, many such cases!”
“Norwegian women are next into the gas chamber. Hitler was right. Himmler was right. Everyone was right. We need to end Western civilisation and start again.”
“Don’t touch the untermensch!”
“you did not like to touch this nigger but you got paid for it so YOU ARE A WHORE and it’s your fucking right to be one but it is also my right to not even piss on you when you’re literally burning …. so girls out there if you only once touch a nigger make sure nobody knows because many good white man think like me actually all good white man! Once you go black you never go back BECAUSE WE DON’T WANT YOU anymore monkey f*****”
“Traitors will hange first on the day of the rope!”

 

Posting them here is hard enough, and I wonder what the people who wrote this and so much more, were thinking. What on earth makes people write something like this? And all this because Sophie Elise is with a guy with darker skin in a music video which is supposed to be about love. It`s crazy – this world is crazy and people are crazy. It`s sad how people even allow themselves to write such disgusting things. It`s sad because history`s repeating itself – we`ve seen where dehumanizing other human beings can lead us, and yet it feels like many of us haven`t learned anything. It`s such a shame and this isn`t what things should be like.

I mean, in the very end we`re all human beings. We feel the same things, we go through many of the same things and it`s very sad that our skin colours get in the way of love. All I can say for now is: Throw some love everywhere you go. We all need love. ♥♥

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IMAGINE NOT BEING ABLE TO GO OUTSIDE

This is a post I actually posted yesterday, but the 5th of July was the day Margot Frank received a note  to report to a labor camp. They went into hiding on the 6th. Have no idea how I exchanged these two dates. 


Today it`s exactly 75 years ago since Anne Frank and her family went into hiding in “Achterhuis” in Prinsengracht. Four days ago, I was there myself.

Imagine not being able to go outside for more than two years. You`re locked inside day and night, in small rooms. Not only that – you`re helpless with fear every single day. “These people were in prison, a prison with locks on the inside”, Miep Gies (one of the helpers) said. Imagine living in fear of being discovered and taken away to somewhere, which reminds you of something like death. For nearly 25 months, Anne and her family hid in her Dad`s office, with hopes of survival and a great future ahead.

If you know her story, you`ll know she and six of those who hid with her, died. Thinking of that still makes me emotional. Not only because I look so much up to Anne Frank, but also because I think of the millions of humans who suffered and died.

When I was standing where she stood 75 years ago, I felt weird, but amazing and so inspired. I am so lucky to live in Norway and live the life I`m currently living. I have so many opportunities ahead of me, I`m studying whatever I want to and I can go out every day and breathe in some fresh air. Stand in the pouring rain. Meet people. I don`t have to be afraid at nights and lie wide awake due to bombing. Most of us in the West are so fortunate and lucky. We have everything and to me, many of our problems don`t really matter, in the very end. Life`s not always a dance on roses. We can do things kids in war can`t. Being in the “Achterhuis” has once again made me realise how important it is for me to be thankful and thank God for the journey I`m on. Anne`s sister, Margot, died at the age of 19. I`m 19 and I`m still alive. I can do everything she couldn`t and my future doesn`t seem so distant.

I`ve been through a lot in life. I have my mistakes and I`ve made myself proud many times. I`m grateful for that. No matter what I`ve been through and are going through, I need to remember that I`m alive and that one day, the hard times will come to an end. I consider myself blessed, since I can live on and continue to grow as a person and human being, and make the world a better place.

I can do and encounter everything people that lived before us and went through horrible times, couldn`t do.

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THOUGHTS

I passed the test  and my vacation started the 1st of June. It`s unbelieveable. That unbelieveable, that now I`m asking myself what I am to do. What do I do now? I have two and a half months to do whatever I want to. I can`t waste it just like that, I need to do something meaningful. I can`t get up late every day, I can`t spend the days watching TV or my favourite serials. I need to be productive. So? I`m going to do some studying. I`m going to do 4 courses next semester, so I need to hang in there. I`m also going to read a lot of books – I borrowed and ordered several books from the library during my exams, that I wanted to read but told myself to wait for the exams to finish. I`ve already started reading and I can`t wait to find out what I am to learn this summer.

I needed a short break. My mind has been everywhere and I`m such a confusing person. My mind will be in Tokyo one hour and the next in Paris. You get it. For instance – I was so sure I wanted to do history as a minor, but two days ago I had no idea and looked up all the choices I had. Don`t you think I got even more confused? I still don`t exactly know, so I ended up applying for only the courses I`m going to do for Anthropology.

What else have been going on? I`ve been losing faith in humanity. Again and again. Some days ago London happened to be victim of terror. How can someone do that? I see the hate in the comment sections, I see how we discuss everything and nothing up and down and yet we have no answers. So many of the discussions we had many years ago, are discussions we`re still having and it`s as if we keep going and going, but we don`t know where we`re going. One evening I was exhausted due to that, that I told myself I don`t like humans. In one way that`s true, because you never know what they might end up doing one day.

I`ve also been thinking about my grandmother and how she died. Or how she ended up leaving me, leaving us. She didn`t give us a warning. The doctors did say we should start preparing ourselves for the end, but I didn`t want to believe them because miracles do happen. I prayed for a miracle to happen, but it never happened. All of a sudden she was dead. Maybe it wasn`t something that happened suddenly. All I know is that I really miss her and I wish she was here.

God, I really don`t know what`s the point with this post, but I wanted to let it out. I know way too many bloggers who have a positive blog all the way and act like life`s perfect. I know some people prefer to read blogs that give them motivation and inspiration, but what`s inspirational to me, are people who show all aspects of life. Who don`t mind being personal and saying “hey, I`m having a very bad day”. I guess that`s what this is. A post in which I`m trying to say that my mind`s been a mess and there have been moments where I didn`t know what to do, but that`s life. I know I`ll be okay soon enough, if not now.

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WE ACT LIKE WE KNOW PEOPLE

It`s the 13th of May and the grand final of Eurovision Song Contest is over. Oh, wait, it`s past midnight. It`s the 14th of May. I`m sitting on the couch, reading the news on how Portugal has won. I`m disappointed and therefore, I`m trying to seek for answers. Why did Portugal win? Why did people vote for Salvador Sobral and his song? And now as the grand final is over, what am I to do now? I feel like the excitement I had build up, all of a sudden is over and I don`t know what to do.

Suddenly my eyes notice a title. “Defied heartproblems and won Eurovision Song Contest”. “What?” was my first thought. I clicked on the article and read it. Salvador has, according to the article, heartproblems. Due to that, the doctors refused to let Sobral participate in all the rehearsals. Therefore, his sister Luísa Sobral, whom wrote the song, replaced him for some time in Kyev. Salvador needs a heart and according to his doctor, he won`t be able to make it to 2018 if he doesn`t get one soon.

I`m shocked and devastated. All of a sudden I`m happy for Salvador. I only feel a little disappointed, but I`m proud and happy. Proud because Salvador is such a humble human being who`s not afraid to speak his mind. But I`m also devastated. I start crying. He`ll die if he doesn`t get a new heart.

I put away the laptop. Don`t want to brush my teeth. All I can do is think. Think about sad and crazy it is that there are so many things we don`t notice in life, when it comes to other people. There Salvador was singing on a beautiful stage and I had no idea he was ill. I pray for him – I hope he gets a heart very soon. I don`t know when, but somehow I fall asleep.

The next morning I read the news and they`ve changed the title of the article. It turns out it was all a rumour – Sobral had a hernia surgery some time ago and is still recovering from that. I thank God, I`m so happy.

But I can`t help but think of how weird life is. Some of us think we know everything about a person by meeting them only once. We think we know all that there is to know and judge each other. We act like we really do know each other. Even though Salvador`s health condition isn`t as serious as I first thought it was, I can`t help but think how we don`t show as much love and peace as we talk about. We believe we understand more than we actually, while we forget everyone`s been through something they don`t talk about. Everyone has their stories, their secrets and their baggage. Always keep in mind there are so many things we go around holding, but don`t say a word about. We don`t always know how a person`s feeling deep down. Always remember that nobody`s life is perfect.

 

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THIS WORLD IS A BEAUTIFUL MESS

Yesterday I felt too tired to share what I had planned to write about. Therefore I posted a part of a song that I listen to every day, that describes how I feel and that is so close to my heart. Manchester, teror, people.. you get it. It`s that time of the month where I`m tired of most human beings, I don`t feel like I can actually trust anyone, apart from some few that are close to my heart and I want to travel to a huge city all alone and stay there for two weeks.

Because you know this world is a mad world when a little girl can`t go to a concert and have fun, without being killed.

It`s crazy that we live in a world where there are people with sick values around you, and you don`t even know. I wonder why the terrorist did what he did – what convinced him that killing other people was the right thing to do? What made him kill innocent, little kids? And how does he feel now? How does it feel to know you have taken 22 lives and hurted millions? God, these questions make me angry, but I also feel sad on behalf of their families, their friends and everyone who knew them. I feel sad on behalf of us as a society, as a community and I feel sad on behalf of this world. This isn`t the first time and this won`t be the last time.

We keep on moving and we keep on living. And then something like this will occur again. Most of us will stop up for some time and think of love and humanity. Many will wonder where the love is. We`ll talk about how it`s important to show respect and love to people around us, we`ll talk about thankfulness and peace, but where is the love? Where is the humanity we talk so much about, at times like these? We ask ourselves how someone can become a terrorist, and at the same time most of us don`t even bother to care enough about the beggar or the girl at school who`re being bullied.

When I think of this and so much more, I can`t help but feel sad and helpless. I want to see more of the love we talk about, I want people to care more and I want us to act like humans towards everyone – no matter who they are, where they come from or what they`ve got in their baggage. But maybe this all is too much to expect, because after all we live in a beautiful mess. We live in a beautiful mess called “world”. We`ll be nice to each other and we`ll kill each other and that`s unfortunately just how it is.

Good night. 

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