If you`ve followed me for some time, you`d know I`m currently studying social anthropology. Basicly we learn about the comparative diversity of societies and cultures around the world. Some topics we`ve had are economics, religion, symbols, gender, politics and kinship. I`ve learned a lot and even though not all courses are fun, it`s great to learn more about the big, big world we live in.
However, I applied for a bachelor in history before summer. I love history and I just love learning about the second world war. Many times during the lectures last year I asked myself why I`m studying social anthropology. It`s not that it`s plain boring – I just don`t feel satisfied and I don`t know if that`s normal. When I applied for the university, I applied for 9 different studies. It goes without saying I`m interested in a lot, so when I was supposed to pick my minor (let`s call it that) this summer, I found it so hard to just choose one and go with it. I went through psychology, Dutch, sociology, art history, gender studies… you get it. I ended up with history, though. I`ve pretty much enjoyed it so far, but to be honest: I`m still wondering whether I made the right decision or not, because I like social anthropology, but I don`t love it. Like I just said, I don`t know if that`s normal.
I`ve asked myself so many times if I should change my direction or not. I feel like I`m still studying social anthropology because I`m too scared to change path right now, but at the same time – it`s not like I`m absolutely not enjoying my current study. On the other hand, I really don`t want to waste time and do what I want to do right away. To be honest, I`m a little scared of what the future holds for me. Whenever people say “oh, so you`re studying social anthroopology? What are you going to use it for?”, I don`t really know what to say. But in my mind? In my mind I can imagine what I want to be like in the future. I want to be a strong, independent and kind woman. I want to be free, I want to be me.
One day I want to travel and actually see the world. Meet people, learn languages, get to know different cultures and understand phenomena. Social anthropology will definetely come in handy then, but is this what I really want to do? I`m not sure, which really annoyes me. Some people think I have it figured out – I don`t. Yeah, I know I want to be an author, but besides that, I don`t know. Oh, there are way too many “I-don`t-knows” in life. If you`ve just joined university and feel like everyone else knows what they`re doing but you, then you`re wrong. I`m doing my second year in a BA and I`m not sure about what I want to work with (apart from writing, of course). I don`t even know if I`m doing what I should be doing, haha, but that`s okay. I`m going somewhere and many times it takes time to know what you want to do. I`ll stumble, I`ll fall, but I`m going somewhere.