I GOT ACCEPTED!!!

So, I received an e-mail today and it turns out that I`ve been accepted into…

Bilderesultat for maastricht streetsBilderesultat for maastricht viewBilderesultat for maastricht streets…the University of Maastricht, which is in the Netherlands. A year ago it was a dream to pretty much only visit Amsterdam and the Anne Frank Museum. Now I have the opportunity to live in another city for a couple months. That`s weird to think about, to be honest. Life definetely happens and who thought I`d be here today. Well well, looks like I got into The Netherlands (Maastricht), which I`m happy about. I need some time to let this sink in, even though it`s now that the real stuff begins.

But AAAAH, GUYS!! All hope really wasn`t lost and I actually got in. Very happy about that. 💖 This is going to be craaaaazy!

 

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SHOULD I LAUGH OR CRY OR DO BOTH

I`m going to try and explain this as good as I can: so, I could apply for 3 exchange agreements on each faculty and 3 UiO (University in Oslo) agreements. On my list I had 12 agreements (basically most schools don`t have school fees, but some also have that so I had to write down some agreements twice). 5 of these agreements were UiO-agreements and apparentely, I`m not qualified for any of the universities I applied in India. I`m a little disappointed about that, to be honest, because after all I put India on the top. BUT it turns out that the mail I received yesterday, was talking about the UiO-agreements!! I didn`t know whether to laugh or cry when the woman in the office told me that, I got SO relieved. She also said that it looks like I`ve gotten an admission in the Netherlands, but I still don`t really know as I`ll get to know that tomorrow and on Friday (like I told you before).

AHHH, guys! I`m so happy. I wish I could go to India, but I`m happy as long as I get to go anywhere. Also, I`m still considering complaining, because it turns out that one of the agreements I applied for didn`t have any expectations when it comes to the grades and when I mentioned that to a woman today through e-mail she said “sorry, that information isn`t updated”. But isn`t that kind of stupid, considering that those of us who have applied, applied according to the information we found on the website? I mean, this is the university`s fault. Well well, we`ll see what happens about that. 🙂

I`m excited about tomorrow and Friday, because I`ll get to know where I`ve got in. I`m a little worried, because it turns out I applied for Maastricht first and not Amsterdam… God knows what I was thinking, but like someone of you said: God works it all out. 

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I GOT A NO

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Hey folks.

So, I`ve been waiting and waiting to get a reply from the university and the exchange studies. I wasn`t expecting to get any feedback before Thursday, but… I checked my mail a while ago and it turns out they`ve said no.

It goes without saying that I`m disappointed, sad and yeah.. God, I was so excited about this and was almost sure I`d get in somewhere. The reason I didn`t get in is pretty much that my grades aren`t good enough and I guess I can only scold myself for that, but but. What`s done, is done and I can only look forward.

I`m still not going to give up – I`m going to complain and I`m off to the office tomorrow to get my answers. I want to thank everyone who`s been so supportive, please keep me in your thoughts/prayers, because I really really really want this. 


//photo: source 

AM I HAPPY WITH MY STUDIES?

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I`ve been studying for more than one and a half year now. It`s been interesting, it`s been weird, it`s been impersonal and it`s been too much. I`m the kind of person with too many interests, so I applied for several various courses, like sociology, psychology, philosophy.. and, of course social anthropology. It took me some time to figure out that was what I wanted. Before joining the university, I thought I knew what I was going to, but it turned out I didn`t. Not only was the syllabus too much for someone who only had maximum two books in each subject during high-school – the university was and is impersonal. There are too many people (kind of goes without saying), which makes the university too impersonal for me. Maybe it`s because I went to a school which was primary and secondary school, and we were ca. 100 students in total.

Right now I`m studying social anthropology, which is basically a study in which you learn about different cultures and societies and you compare them to each other. The main thing (at least that`s how I`ve understood it) is to try to understand how different people live their lives. Very interesting, but I was kind disappointed when I first started studying it, because it was different than what I had imagined. We learn more about small places or cultures and socities we`ve never heard about, than cultures we actually have some sort of associations with. Not that we shouldn`t learn anything about them at all or that it can`t be interesting, but how are we going to use the knowledge we gain by getting to know how some people live on the Trobriand Islands later, when we`re going to start working? What`s the relevance? I imagined we`d learn about bigger cultures and socities, things we somehow can relate more to and bigger phenomena. For example: during last semester, I was doing a course called “persuasions and world views”. It would`ve been really interesting and more relevant if we learned about how some Christians, Muslim, Hinduists, Jews and Buddhists live and practise their beliefs in their daily lives. I think that`d be more relevant for us, in the world we live in.

If I decide to do a Master, I will have to do fieldwork for about six months. I could decide what country I`d like to visit and what I`d want to study there. I see the relevance more when it comes to that, than right now, to be honest. I guess that`s why I chose to continue with social anthropology, because after all I`ll write a bachelor essay on a topic (or topics) I find interesting and because I`ve become more aware of that people live their lives according to what they think is right or logical, which is important in the anthropological field.

As you perhaps can tell, I`m not 100 % satisfied with studying social anthropology, but maybe that`s just how it is? Maybe other students aren`t completely satisfied with what they`re studying either? I can imagine myself doing another Bachelor in the future, and I also want to do some single courses in different topics. After having watched the show “Baaghi”, I`ve been wanting to do some courses on gender. I`ve also been considering some courses in psychology, sociology, philosophy etc.

Whenever people ask me what I want to do later on with what I`m studying right now, I don`t really know. I know that I want to help people, but I don`t really know how and where I`m going to do that. So, we`ll have to see where I end up.

HOPEFULLY CLOSER TO A DECISION

Today I had the meeting with the counsellor – he was nice and very helpful. I think I`m a little closer towards a decision. We looked through some of the options that I`ve been considering. I feel like the thing with me is that I`d like to do so much and I`m lost because there are so many roads that seem interesting to me. At the same time, I don`t know what I`m exactly doing. I`m standing between the Netherlands, Germany and India right now. I know Amsterdam is so amazing and I want to go there, BUT I also want to visit India and see for myself what the culture there is like. The struggle, guys. Maybe I`ll make a crazy decision just like that.IMG_1679The deadline is 15th of February. I`m going to apply this week and then see what happens. I still don`t know where I`ll get in, so I`ll have to see what happens. This process is very exciting, but also feels a little weird and insane. I was hardly able to concentrate today during the lecture, because the thought of being in India (or even Amsterdam) thrilled me, haha… I love travelling and knowing that I have the chance to get out there and do something different seems… well, let`s just say crazy. IMG_1686 (1)

 

STUDYING ABROAD?

Hey guys! I hope you`re doing well. I just came home from a family visit. Today`s been quite a long day. It was also a little too hard to get up today, bet I wasn`t the only one, haha. But, all in all it`s been an okay Monday!

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So, over to what this post is supposed to be about. This isn`t something I`ve mentioned on here, but: I`ve been wanting to study abroad for a long time. The opportunity seems great. Meeting new people, getting out there, living in another country for some time and studying there. I`ve been thinking of Canada, The Netherlands, Germany, India… God knows where I`m going to end up. I`ve been unsure about whether I`m actually able to get in or not, because of my grades. But, we got some information today at school which made me a little more hopeful and also got me thinking “oh my God, what am I even up to?!” The whole experience seems so new and I don`t exactly know what I`m even considering, haha… So, if anyone of you have studied abroad, whether that was 10 years ago or just last year, please share your experiences in the comment section below.  Where did you go, what was it like, what did you study? Did you miss home too much? Was it worth it, was it fun, scary, exciting or nerve-wrecking? Or maybe someone you know, have studied abroad?

So yeah, let me know below! I`ll appreciate it a lot. 🙂 

A GRADE DOESN`T DEFINE YOU

This is a post I`ve been wanting to write for a long time, but I didn`t want to have to meet people`s questions. I still don`t want people to question it, just because. Not only because I failed an exam, but also because I haven`t really told anyone about it.

Before I joined the university last year, I was one of those people who did well at school. I had good grades, I studied quite a lot and I was focused. More focused than I was when I joined the university. It turned out to be a more difficult transition than what I first had expected – way too much syllabus and way too much independence. I didn`t really know where to even begin. In October my grandmother was admitted at the hospital and we got to know she had cancer. I spent more time at the hospital than studying. I knew I should`ve studied, but I didn`t feel like it. I guess it was hard to focus when my mind and body were somewhere else most of the time. I tried to spend as much time as possible with my grandmother at the hospital and later in the nursing home. I spent at least 3-4 days of the week with her and when she died in December I felt like I hadn`t spent enough time with her. I regretted everything I hadn`t done, instead of actually appreciating all the time we had spent together. Imagine what I would have felt like if I had spent more time at home, studying. I know I can`t blame anyone but myself for failing, of course, but it goes without saying that when a family member is admitted at the hospital and has cancer you want to spend more time with her or him. At least that`s what it was like for me. Later on we also were told that she didn`t have much time left and even though a huge part of me didn`t want to believe that, I wanted to spend as much time as possible with her.

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Since I wasn`t motivated and focused, I didn`t feel ready when it was time for the exams. I could`ve and should`ve studied a lot more, but didn`t. It was hard to find a schedule that worked for me, especially during the first and second semester. When we got the results and I saw the “F” online, I felt a little too shameful and a little too much of failure. That`s what I remember. It was the kind of feeling that wrenches your body and makes you feel bad about yourself. It was just a grade and it made me feel like that. What for? Perhaps because all the time I had been a good student, and now I wasn`t anymore. Or perhaps because I felt like it was something I was told to be shameful about.

But WHAT EVEN – sometimes life happens, sometimes things don`t go according to the plans and sometimes you have to try again. Feeling that way sucked for me, and it made me realise how so many others must be feeling. The feeling of failure, the feeling of not doing enough or being enough, especially when you`ve been doing so good for a long time. It`s easy to feel alone about failing your exam, even though the statistics show that`s not true. But, you`re not alone and it`s okay if you`ve failed your exam. That doesn`t mean I recommend you to fail your exam(s) – put an effort and give 100. Sometimes, that`s not the easiest thing to do. You feel unmotivated, you`re not focused and life happens. Sometimes things don`t go your way and that`s okay – just make sure you get up and keep trying.

I re-did the subject this semester and passed, so I`m for sure not a failure. What stupid things my mind was telling me. Doesn`t matter if it was for 10 minutes or 10 hours, it`s crazy how we sometimes feel a certain way because that`s what perhaps more appropiate. I mean, after all I didn`t even tell my friends. But, a grade doesn`t define me or my future.

I still don`t feel 100 % comfortable posting this, but I don`t really understand what the big deal is. That was then, now is now and now I`ve passed. What`s past is past and after all, I`m so much more than a grade.