FEELING RESPONSIBLE

Waking up today was weird and good. My mum`s usually the one who gets up first in the morning, so when I got up today it was very quiet. My mum`s arrived Pakistan safely, by the way! Thank God. Now it`s her time to have a holiday and spend some time with her family.IMG_2248

I came home a while ago after doing some grocery shopping and now I`m going to do some cleaning and then try to make chappatis for the first time.. I feel very responsible, haha. But, that`s what it`s going to be like while my mum is away. Also, I noticed today my Easter vacation is longer than what I first expected! Ah, one day more and I can begin my holiday.

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SOMETIMES ALL YOU NEED IS SOMEONE WHO LISTENS

“I`m sorry I wasn`t able to fix the problems, but I hope me being a listener and a person you could talk to at least helped you a little.”

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When I was being bullied in secondary school, I was frustrated. First of all because it kept going and going – as if the years spent in primary school weren`t enough. Also, the teachers weren`t able to fix the problem. They weren`t able to end the bullying. I was tired and exhausted. Maybe because it turned out that one of the bullies apologized but kept it going. Maybe because I could sit in the classroom during lunch and hear how some of the boys called me ugly.

I won`t say I was mad at the teachers for not being able to fix it, because I knew that they weren`t magicians who were able to change people. The bullies had to change themselves, they needed to have the will to change their behaviour towards me. Obviously some of them didn`t change their behaviour until the very end of the secondary. I still had my moments of frustration and only during the recent years I`ve thought that maybe the teachers felt hopeless too and they did what they thought was the best to do.

Because the truth is that there won`t always be someone around to fix your problems and get rid of them. In this case, my teachers couldn`t fix the problem, because they couldn`t force my classmates to change themselves. But, what they could have done, was to be there for me, listen to me, make me feel safe and accept me for who I am. Which they did. Sometimes all you need is a caring person who wants to listen to what you have to say. Countless times I sent JK an e-mail. If you`re read my blog for a long time, you`ll know JK was my main teacher during my three years at Østmarka (the Secondary School I went to). He was not only a teacher, but a friend for many of us. We could talk to him, and he would listen. I messaged him some evenings, because I was sad or frustrated. Usually he`d show up the next day, ask me to knock at his office door later and we`d end up talking.

Kids can be very mean to each other and therefore it`s even more important that we have teachers who see their students and make them feel safe and sound. Who make it easier for you to be in the classroom and to be at school, especially when your classmates are saying not so nice things about you or are making fun of you. Thank you, JK and all the others teachers that were kind to me and saw the strength in me, even when I didn`t. Thank you for seeing me. Thank you.

5 THINGS I`M THANKFUL FOR TODAY

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⚡️ All hope`s not lost and I can still study abroad this autumn. Goes without saying that this is something I`m grateful about today. I am so relieved and I don`t feel like yesterday, when I was disappointed and felt a little too empty. Definitely a thing to be thankful about today.

⚡️ I might have few friends, but who cares? The ones I have really care about me and that`s frankly all that should matter. It`s easy to feel sad and lonely when your friends are far away or you don`t get to spend much time with them, but knowing that my friends are there for me, means so much. It was worth the wait.

⚡️ The fact that I go to school, learn something new and feed my own brain with new knowledge every day. And I must say I really feel lucky because studying at many universities here in Norway don`t really cost much at all. It costs me about 70-90 Euros each semester, which is hardly anything compared to countries like the UK and the USA. I`m very thankful about having the opportunity to study something I want and become something.

⚡️ Your comments and my friends` messages made me quite emotional and I just want to say thank you. It`s nice how people I don`t even know, actually spend some time and leave supportive comments.

⚡️ God`s with me, no matter what.

THANKFUL

Thank you so much for the nice comments on my last post. I`m lucky to have such lovely friends. I want to show people that you might not have friends today or maybe you`re lonely, but have patience and great things will happen to you. Just hang in there. Years ago, when I was being bullied and people tried to make me feel bad, it was easy for me to think “things are never going to get good again”, BUT things happened and here I am, stronger than I`ve ever been and I have some people in my life that accept me for who I am. 💞

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Today`s been okay – I had a great breakfast and then video called with Sara. So nice to see her have a good time down there. 🙂 We just had dinner now, it was pizza like usually. Now I`m going to blog a little and then I better sit down and tackle the history book. Hope everyone`s having a great weekend!

THEY SAY THAT GREAT THINGS TAKE TIME

I`m not popular, nor do I have many friends.

As a child I didn`t really have any friends. There and then I did I have people I could hang out with, but now I`ve realised they weren`t actually my friends. None of them stayed – some “faded away”, while others abandoned me. I was little, didn`t understand as much as I do now and didn`t really stand up for myself. In high-school I had many days where I felt lonely. For a long time, I didn`t really feel like anyone tried to listen to me or saw me who I am.

But, during my second year in high-school I got to know two girls, Sara and Thea. It started with me sitting with them. Slowly we started talking more and more and during third year I visited them and they visited me. I remember I once told them “I don`t trust you, it`s going to take a while for me” and they were like “well, just know that we trust you.” Some words can mean so much to you. They didn`t go all like “oh, why don`t you trust us, don`t you consider us your friends?”. They didn`t judge me, instead they gave me time and kept being the kind human beings they are. That meant and still means so much to me. I know that I could literally do anything to them, and they would still be kind to me. Thea is still here in Norway, while Sara is in Australia. She`s going to stay there for a couple of months and of course I miss her. I think it`s easy to think you`re going to drift apart when the distance is so huge, but I know we`re going to work it out and that missing each other will do us. Besides, Thea is still here!

Some days ago, Sara messaged me. “I just want to remind you of how fantastic, strong and cool you are, and I miss you.” Those words touched my heart and made me emotional (I`m perhaps the most emotional person on this earth).

I remember how I sometimes used to think before that the pain was never going to end. It seemed like the times I was going through at that time, was a phase I had to walk through forever. Many of us feel that way – it can feel like a never ending roller-coaster. You ask yourself “why me”. At that time I didn`t understand why people were being mean to me and making fun of me either. To be honest. sometimes I even found myself thinking “am I not cool enough or beautiful enough for people?” It feels like I wasn`t  popular or fabulous enough for most people, because after all, I didn`t really have that many to hang out with.

I still don`t have that many to hang out with, but you know what? I might have few friends, but the ones I have are fantastic. That`s good enough for me, because at least I`m cool enough, beautiful enough and fabulous enough for them. And that`s all that should matter.

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//Photo: here

THE LAST DAYS IN FRANKFURT

What is there not to miss about Germany? I miss my family and I miss being in their house, but there must be something else. Maybe I miss it this much because of the air there, because of the more chill weather. Maybe I miss it because I don`t live there – if I did, I would`ve had joined an university there and live my life there and not here, in Norway. Maybe it`s because of the cheap prices and how the trains go more often there. Now you might be thinking why someone would miss that. I guess the answer is that we miss everything we don`t have.

Anywho, here are some pictures from the last days I spent in Frankfurt. I stayed in Russelsheim, which is by car only a few minutes away from the airport. IMG_1942IMG_1943

I went to Russelsheim “Stadt” (centrum) two days, once with my female cousin and once with one of my male cousins. It was so fun and I bought some stuff from the different shops here.

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The neighbourhood.

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One of the days I had “aalo ke parathas”. They made me full very quickly, but they were quite tasty! Now I wish I had said yes to eat them the second time my aunt made them, haha…

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An outfit from the day I went out with one of my cousins. Chill clothes because they ain`t got any snow.

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A walk outside, in the evening. Yes to more walks like that.

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The weater was quite sunny one of the days I was there, which I loved! This day we went out to visit a Pakistani family my aunt loves, and I and my cousin wore the same dress…

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… while this is what met me, when I came back in Norway. What a difference.


 

I hope you`ve enjoyed the travel posts on my blog lately. I`m anyways going to miss writing them, but hopefully I`ll get the opportunity to get on a plane soon! Thanks to my family for giving me a great time and thanks Deutschland. I`ll see you before you know it.

THEY HAVE LESS BECAUSE WE HAVE MORE

Yesterday there was this reportage on the news, about Syrian people that have been suffering because of war for more than three years. Reading about war is for me so far-fetched, because I`m one of the privileged ones who have never encountered a war and nor do I have to be afraid of one beginning in my country anytime soon. It`s also hard to think of what I can do to end the war and make the country a peaceful area. Something else that`s actually much easier to resolve, is hunger. We have all the food in the world plus much more, and yet so many people are suffering from hunger. We have the resources, we have the possibilities that we are not grabbing. Little kids are malnourished and about to die. Instead of running and playing around and simply enjoying life, they are dying from hunger even though we have enough food for everyone in the world.

I`ve been doing a course this semester called “economic anthropology”, which is probably the course in my degree that I`m not going to enjoy that much, but if there`s one thing that`s going to be stuck with me for a long, long time it`s what the professor said during a lecture: “other people have less, because we have more”. There`s something brutally honest about what he said. Now you might say “what can I do to stop the hunger?” It`s not like you have to save the whole world, but you can save someone`s world. Begin with not throwing food, no matter what. I see so many people throwing food in our local grocery shops here – I have to admit that bothers me a lot, it`s as if people don`t respect the food or the fact that it`s come from somewhere. Buy as much as you need and if you`ve got old bread in your house, you can throw it in the water for the birds to eat. Or if you`ve got food in your house you don`t think you are going to eat, give it to someone else – your neighbour, a friend or a beggar. Don`t let food go to waste -food is meant to be eaten, not wasted.

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//source: here 

When I woke up today, I taught about how incredibly thankful I should be for having a great bed to sleep in and for having a home. It`s when I don`t have it that I miss it. Now I`m going to have a veeery late breakfast, later today I`m going to visit my family. 🙂