I GOT A NO

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Hey folks.

So, I`ve been waiting and waiting to get a reply from the university and the exchange studies. I wasn`t expecting to get any feedback before Thursday, but… I checked my mail a while ago and it turns out they`ve said no.

It goes without saying that I`m disappointed, sad and yeah.. God, I was so excited about this and was almost sure I`d get in somewhere. The reason I didn`t get in is pretty much that my grades aren`t good enough and I guess I can only scold myself for that, but but. What`s done, is done and I can only look forward.

I`m still not going to give up – I`m going to complain and I`m off to the office tomorrow to get my answers. I want to thank everyone who`s been so supportive, please keep me in your thoughts/prayers, because I really really really want this. 


//photo: source 

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CONFUSION AND LIFE

Yesterday turned out to be a nice day – Thea came over and my family spent some time with her. She was going to be her for a little while, but suddenly she spent almost two hours here. I haven`t seen Thea since Sara went to Australia, so it was nice to see her. ❤️ We`re trying to make some plans, so we can go to the cinema (finalllyyyy). Hopefully next time we see each other will be soon.

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Here in Norway it`s time for the winter holidays, which those of us who are in universiy/university college aren`t enjoying. But, let`s say I`m on my winter holidays as I don`t have any other classes rest of the week. 😉 I still have to study, but in my opinion it`s better to do that at home or at a library not far from where you live. Plus, it`s hard to focus when I think of the fact that I`ll get to know where (maybe I should say if, but I`m pretty sure I`ll get admission somewhere) I`m going to study abroad. Aaah, can`t wait!!! Speaking of that – I got a little too confused yesterday, as I started thinking I had put the wrong university at the top of my list. I sent an e-mail to the university and thankfully they fixed it!

I came home a while ago and now it`s soon time for dinner. Talk to ya later!

I’VE APPLIED FOR EXCHANGE!

Relatert bildeThe deadline for exchange studies was yesterday and of course I applied.  I`ve applied different faculties, as I don`t really need to study social anthropology while I study abroad. I also ended up adding some more countries to my list, like the USA and France. But, of course there are some places I prefer more than others… Nevertheless, I`ll be happy to just get the opportunity to get out there. Imagine that? Packing your life in a suitcase and “moving” to another country for 3-4 months? How thrilling and nerve-wrecking isn`t that?

I`ll get a mail from the university in a couple of days, which I`m both excited and nervous about. I`m glad we don`t have to wait so long!

 

AM I HAPPY WITH MY STUDIES?

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I`ve been studying for more than one and a half year now. It`s been interesting, it`s been weird, it`s been impersonal and it`s been too much. I`m the kind of person with too many interests, so I applied for several various courses, like sociology, psychology, philosophy.. and, of course social anthropology. It took me some time to figure out that was what I wanted. Before joining the university, I thought I knew what I was going to, but it turned out I didn`t. Not only was the syllabus too much for someone who only had maximum two books in each subject during high-school – the university was and is impersonal. There are too many people (kind of goes without saying), which makes the university too impersonal for me. Maybe it`s because I went to a school which was primary and secondary school, and we were ca. 100 students in total.

Right now I`m studying social anthropology, which is basically a study in which you learn about different cultures and societies and you compare them to each other. The main thing (at least that`s how I`ve understood it) is to try to understand how different people live their lives. Very interesting, but I was kind disappointed when I first started studying it, because it was different than what I had imagined. We learn more about small places or cultures and socities we`ve never heard about, than cultures we actually have some sort of associations with. Not that we shouldn`t learn anything about them at all or that it can`t be interesting, but how are we going to use the knowledge we gain by getting to know how some people live on the Trobriand Islands later, when we`re going to start working? What`s the relevance? I imagined we`d learn about bigger cultures and socities, things we somehow can relate more to and bigger phenomena. For example: during last semester, I was doing a course called “persuasions and world views”. It would`ve been really interesting and more relevant if we learned about how some Christians, Muslim, Hinduists, Jews and Buddhists live and practise their beliefs in their daily lives. I think that`d be more relevant for us, in the world we live in.

If I decide to do a Master, I will have to do fieldwork for about six months. I could decide what country I`d like to visit and what I`d want to study there. I see the relevance more when it comes to that, than right now, to be honest. I guess that`s why I chose to continue with social anthropology, because after all I`ll write a bachelor essay on a topic (or topics) I find interesting and because I`ve become more aware of that people live their lives according to what they think is right or logical, which is important in the anthropological field.

As you perhaps can tell, I`m not 100 % satisfied with studying social anthropology, but maybe that`s just how it is? Maybe other students aren`t completely satisfied with what they`re studying either? I can imagine myself doing another Bachelor in the future, and I also want to do some single courses in different topics. After having watched the show “Baaghi”, I`ve been wanting to do some courses on gender. I`ve also been considering some courses in psychology, sociology, philosophy etc.

Whenever people ask me what I want to do later on with what I`m studying right now, I don`t really know. I know that I want to help people, but I don`t really know how and where I`m going to do that. So, we`ll have to see where I end up.

STUDYING ABROAD?

Hey guys! I hope you`re doing well. I just came home from a family visit. Today`s been quite a long day. It was also a little too hard to get up today, bet I wasn`t the only one, haha. But, all in all it`s been an okay Monday!

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So, over to what this post is supposed to be about. This isn`t something I`ve mentioned on here, but: I`ve been wanting to study abroad for a long time. The opportunity seems great. Meeting new people, getting out there, living in another country for some time and studying there. I`ve been thinking of Canada, The Netherlands, Germany, India… God knows where I`m going to end up. I`ve been unsure about whether I`m actually able to get in or not, because of my grades. But, we got some information today at school which made me a little more hopeful and also got me thinking “oh my God, what am I even up to?!” The whole experience seems so new and I don`t exactly know what I`m even considering, haha… So, if anyone of you have studied abroad, whether that was 10 years ago or just last year, please share your experiences in the comment section below.  Where did you go, what was it like, what did you study? Did you miss home too much? Was it worth it, was it fun, scary, exciting or nerve-wrecking? Or maybe someone you know, have studied abroad?

So yeah, let me know below! I`ll appreciate it a lot. 🙂 

WEDNESDAY

“And, who knows, you too may already serve as a huge inspiration for someone. So keep using your voice, honouring your past, owning your story, and making new experiences to add to it. The more characters you meet, the more character you build. The more colorful your story, the more colorful your life.” 

Some inspiring words I read today, which I wanted to share with you. It might be easy to feel little in this big, big world, but know that you might be on someone else`s mind right know and you might be the reason someone bothers getting up every morning. You might be someone else`s inspiration and alone you can have a huge impact on this world. 

I hope you`re all doing well! Today`s been alright, I had a seminar and a lecture today and pretty much went home afterwards. Since I don`t have any lectures and seminars the rest of the week, it`s already weekend for me. Well, at least in my head, even though I have to study. About that – I didn`t start on Saturday and only did a little bit studying on Sunday. If anyone of you have any tips and tricks on how t how to stay focused (and motivated) after a great vacation in Germany, please do share, thank you.

Speaking of Germany – I really like one of the notebooks I bought from there! It looks so cute. I also bought some new highlighters, that look like tubes. Maybe using them will make me more motivated.IMG_2011IMG_2013

Also. I thought I had changed my “about me page” a while ago, but apparantely I hadn`t… For a while some of you have been writing “welcome to WordPress” and “have a great time blogging”. I`ve just been like “I`ve been here for more than two years, but thank you” in my mind, but I checked my page and haha… no wonder I got those sort of comments! It`s pretty much what I wrote back when I started this blog. I`m going to update it now, so if you`re interested, make sure to check it out!

A GRADE DOESN`T DEFINE YOU

This is a post I`ve been wanting to write for a long time, but I didn`t want to have to meet people`s questions. I still don`t want people to question it, just because. Not only because I failed an exam, but also because I haven`t really told anyone about it.

Before I joined the university last year, I was one of those people who did well at school. I had good grades, I studied quite a lot and I was focused. More focused than I was when I joined the university. It turned out to be a more difficult transition than what I first had expected – way too much syllabus and way too much independence. I didn`t really know where to even begin. In October my grandmother was admitted at the hospital and we got to know she had cancer. I spent more time at the hospital than studying. I knew I should`ve studied, but I didn`t feel like it. I guess it was hard to focus when my mind and body were somewhere else most of the time. I tried to spend as much time as possible with my grandmother at the hospital and later in the nursing home. I spent at least 3-4 days of the week with her and when she died in December I felt like I hadn`t spent enough time with her. I regretted everything I hadn`t done, instead of actually appreciating all the time we had spent together. Imagine what I would have felt like if I had spent more time at home, studying. I know I can`t blame anyone but myself for failing, of course, but it goes without saying that when a family member is admitted at the hospital and has cancer you want to spend more time with her or him. At least that`s what it was like for me. Later on we also were told that she didn`t have much time left and even though a huge part of me didn`t want to believe that, I wanted to spend as much time as possible with her.

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Since I wasn`t motivated and focused, I didn`t feel ready when it was time for the exams. I could`ve and should`ve studied a lot more, but didn`t. It was hard to find a schedule that worked for me, especially during the first and second semester. When we got the results and I saw the “F” online, I felt a little too shameful and a little too much of failure. That`s what I remember. It was the kind of feeling that wrenches your body and makes you feel bad about yourself. It was just a grade and it made me feel like that. What for? Perhaps because all the time I had been a good student, and now I wasn`t anymore. Or perhaps because I felt like it was something I was told to be shameful about.

But WHAT EVEN – sometimes life happens, sometimes things don`t go according to the plans and sometimes you have to try again. Feeling that way sucked for me, and it made me realise how so many others must be feeling. The feeling of failure, the feeling of not doing enough or being enough, especially when you`ve been doing so good for a long time. It`s easy to feel alone about failing your exam, even though the statistics show that`s not true. But, you`re not alone and it`s okay if you`ve failed your exam. That doesn`t mean I recommend you to fail your exam(s) – put an effort and give 100. Sometimes, that`s not the easiest thing to do. You feel unmotivated, you`re not focused and life happens. Sometimes things don`t go your way and that`s okay – just make sure you get up and keep trying.

I re-did the subject this semester and passed, so I`m for sure not a failure. What stupid things my mind was telling me. Doesn`t matter if it was for 10 minutes or 10 hours, it`s crazy how we sometimes feel a certain way because that`s what perhaps more appropiate. I mean, after all I didn`t even tell my friends. But, a grade doesn`t define me or my future.

I still don`t feel 100 % comfortable posting this, but I don`t really understand what the big deal is. That was then, now is now and now I`ve passed. What`s past is past and after all, I`m so much more than a grade.